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Tuesday, August 24, 2010

a people's veto can't keep them down!

Our friends Katie and Alex got married on the ocean in Lubec on Sunday.

Yeah, yeah, we know. They can't REALLY get married. (Ella even pointed this out to me, making me proud of her political acumen and making me cringe that she understands this discrimination.)

But you know, it turns out, minus that tiny little thing called "legal", they got married just the same.

Except maybe that is was even a bit prettier with two brides.

Mikayla, Alex's daughter from a previous relationship, is loved and adored by Katie (and by our girls I might add) and Katie had a special part of the ceremony to acknowledge her and pledge some promises as her second mom. She gave her a beautiful necklace with three hearts on it that Mikayla now wears as a badge of honor.

There was not a dry eye.

Katie's grandfather, an avid supporter of gay marriage, gave a deeply moving tribute to their relationship. He things like, "marriage is joint this and joint that in material things but you have joined your lives together in your hearts which will always mean so much more than property ever could." He gave a metaphor about a cake (On princicple, I cannot dislike any metaphor that utilizes cake as a premise) and how their relationship, in all its components are like the sturdy layers of a cake and that legalized marriage, for them, will simply be the icing, the inevitable icing as he declared, on their already sound, well-built cake.

My favorite part: "You may now kiss your brides!"

The ceremony sort of unglued me. I was sitting on the ground, thorny blueberry bushes scraping my bare legs, Ella on my lap, and I was absolutely weeping.

All I could think is, the government, the people who think they can "protect" the institution of marriage by keeping gay people out, don't understand that this kind of love and family, these ties that bind will hold no matter what. No sanction or legalization or governmental stamp of approval will ever add any inherent value to this kind of love.

This love exists no matter what.

Marriage is, and always will be, a state-sanctioned legal binding. But the government has no mandate on the heart, for any couple, gay or straight. It simply ties people's assets together. We want it so that we have these protections, this equality. Not because entering the institution will somehow strengthen what we have.

Look. It doesn't need any strengthening. It is beautiful and pure and perfect just as it is.

And when it comes right down to it, a gay wedding isn't TOO different than any other.

The music is still too loud. (Just ask Maya, the sound police who has no volume control of her own.)

There is beer being drunk, food being eaten, kids laughing and playing.

And one bride singing to the other- a song adapted just for her. Just ordinary stuff.

And, of course, what would a wedding be without a gorgeous (and YUMMY cake)?

Maya gave this question a lot of thought.

Lovely friends, wonderful family, big hearts of gold.

Beautiful brides. Way to go girls.


Katie said...

Ohhhh...Suzanne. I love this. It's amazing. We are so lucky to have you and your family in our lives. Our special day wouldn't have been the same without you. Thanks for writing it!! xoxo, Katie

Caitlin said...

Hi :) This is Caitlin (Katie and Alex's wedding photographer). I'm so glad that Katie shared this with me - so beautifully and succinctly written. And I love your pictures. :) As Gramp so eloquently said, "It's getting clearer and clearer...the writing on the wall."

By the way, your girls are adorable!

Jeannine said...

I am sooo glad for this post! I've heard a lot about this wedding the last couple days and it was so nice to see it through your eyes and hear it through your voice... wonderful indeed AND congrats Katie and Alex!

Katie said...

It's me again. I can't stay away! This blog is basically my favorite thing EVER. It has been printed, and it's now in our wedding album. I've read it a dozen times, and I'm just gonna keep reading it! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO!!!

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