Inevitably, reluctantly, spring finally came. Stunning blossoms and vibrant green grass that brags of its sunlight diet has replaced the worn, brown landscape of early spring in Maine. It has been a slow start, then a rainy start when a glance ahead at the week at Intellicast would show a rain icon as far as the eye could see leading me to wonder if we lived in the Northwest instead of the Northeast.
But alas, all is forgiven when a morning run means lilacs on the dawn breeze, when the the woods thicken with the most spectacular gradients of green that seem to be only available at this time of year and when I can walk out to my garden with a kitchen knife and cut chives or mint when I'm making supper.
I can almost forget ground hard like stone and being cold. Almost. After all, I was still wearing my winter coat (my DOWN winter coat) to baseball practice last week to keep warm.
Spring came so late that it had a lot of catching up to do! Suddenly everything in my gardens has exploded on an accelerated schedule and I have felt behind the bus. I have been mowing and weeding, transplanting and mulching like a mad woman and loving every minute. Add to that baseball for Maya, softball for Ella, work, and the endless end-of-year activities at school (field trips, field days, parties, performances, etc.) and I don't even have enough room on our family white board to keep track of it all. I have moved to a sheet of stock paper listing out each day of the week with its corresponding obligations.
I've also been riding my bike as much as I can to get ready for the Trek Across Maine which is NEXT WEEK already!! Sandi and I get to leave town together for 3 days of riding together (along with our awesome Gold's Gym Trek team). We did a 50 mile ride this weekend and, because it is so infrequent that we get to bike together, I was reminded all over again how much fun we have on our bikes. I am really looking forward to getting away.
It is not too late to donate!! No amount of money is too small and it all goes to the American Lung Association. They hope to raise $2 million and most of it stays here in Maine. If you want to sponsor me, please donate here. Thank you so much!
In other news, I am starting to reintroduce food from my very restrictive, anti-inflammatory elimination diet. I had some very encouraging lab results recently and it made me feel like all my work is paying off. That being said, true success cannot be measured until I can come off this medication. For now we have reduced my dose and watch how I tolerate that. Fingers crossed.
Reintroduction of food is more scary than it seems it would be. You pick and item and eat it for 3 days and watch how you feel, noting any and all ill effects and signs of inflammation. I am a little nervous that I won't notice anything but that I will be creating inflammation at an unseen level, thus undoing these 2 1/2 months of hard work.
So far I have had lobster and wine (yes, that is apparently what it comes down to) and tolerated it fine. My next items are bread, peanut butter and oatmeal because I don't see how I can do the Trek and eat away from home without these staples.
I hope you are all enjoying spring, eating outside, and wearing shorts!
Showing posts with label clean food. Show all posts
Showing posts with label clean food. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
Friday, April 18, 2014
A spring that just can't get going and food I CAN eat.
For those of you who don't know we are having the worst winter ever in Maine (in my personal experience).
I was hoping by April to not need to write such things. I mean, here we are nearly a month into "spring" and we still have some snow on the ground and the wood stove is going. We have fleetingly nice days where we think we are out of the snowy woods and... then 2 days ago it happened. April snow- 2 inches of that stuff that has begun to ruin everyone's good mood, and certainly my floundering spring buzz, ON TOP of the old dirty snow banks we still have remaining.
Sandi and I were up before dawn and when she turned the outside light on to leave she said, "Have you looked outside?"
I said, "If there is snow I don't want to know about it."
She said, "No really. You need to go look outside."
I said, "No. Really I don't."
Just 4 days ago I went for a bike ride in SHORTS. Remember those guys?
As if my extensive, expensive and very painful dental appointment wasn't enough, I had just cleaned out our cars and gotten Sandi's snow tires off. I had put away the snow shovels for rakes, was nearly out of pellets and had already worn open toed shoes for an afternoon. There are at least 3 shoots of green grass on the lawn and my tulips are showing me that they survived the brutal winter.
On Saturday it was so nice we went with Ange and Emilie to Field's Pond (now a well-established spring tradition) and Maya was mad that Sandi wouldn't let her pack her swimsuit.
I tell you, we Mainers are READY FOR SPRING.
I mean, we are out on bikes with snow still on the ground.
The increased intensity of the April sun means lots more playing outside even if you do still need mittens and request hot cocoa when you come in. Our girls are having a blast with the neighbor kids, moving as a pack to and from each other's yards and driveways to play. It is the cutest thing ever. We always wondered how old our kids would need to be to do this. I guess now we know.
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| The kids made a "city" out of chalk. |
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| Reese, age 1, displaying her brilliance. |
Our field's pond trip had the kids climbing the same tree they always climb and tolerating the moms taking their picture. Except Reed kept tossing his baseball into my frame.
It actually turned into kind of a cool picture.
In other news, I want to report that I am handing the food thing with more grace and patience than I knew I was capable of. Thank goodness that there are so many vegan foodies out there! I have found ideas for methods and combinations I would never have conceived of. I am so grateful for the many food blogs and Pinterest so I am actually having fun finding new things to eat. Man, I did not realize what a major food rut I was in.
How can you complain when lunch is this beautiful?
I went with the chocolate/peanut butter theme since it is likely my favorite combination of all time. Except since I can't have peanuts, I used almond butter.
So simple: about 6 or 7 chopped bananas (frozen and then semi-softened), almond butter and cocoa powder. I also added some maple syrup for some extra kick.
Here is a link for 29 different dairy free ice cream recipes! There is vegan summer fun to be had.
I am also finding a deep and abiding love of the chia seed. I made chia seed pudding and a chia breakfast bowl both of which were actually delicious.
I also felt like push was coming to shove in not being able to find one energy/granola bar that did not have either oats or dairy in it (except Lara bars and they get so smooshy in any sort of bag) so I made up my own. I basically combined all the things I COULD eat (Rice Krispies, chia seeds, ground flax, cranberries, chopped vegan chocolate, cocoa powder, almond butter and brown rice syrup) rolled the mixture into cute little balls that taste rather amazing. Once they had hardened in the fridge I put them in the freezer in a Ziploc and can grab a couple when I head out on my bike.
But what I really have to tell you is that my body just feels so GOOD. It feels light and humming and I am totally free of any sort of cravings. The perpetual bags under my eyes have reduced dramatically (to me anyway) and it makes me look, if not younger, than at least less old. Balanced thyroid or not, that has to account for something.
Happy, hopeful spring everybody! Here's to Easter dresses and not Easter snowsuits!
Friday, April 4, 2014
Ummm...no thanks. I can't eat that. Or that. Or that.
Remember how a little while ago I told you I was putting my health first? Remember how I said that I wasn't going to apologize for taking care of myself and that I was going to do whatever it took to get myself healthy?
Yeah, I was hoping maybe you didn't.
A month ago I had an appointment with a naturopathic doctor. I wanted to know what I could be doing, in addition to yoga, meditation and a rather dramatic de-stressing makeover of my life, to balance my body and, specifically to save my thyroid. I wanted her expertise to understand what might be happening in my body that I continue to have significant auto-immunity and, most importantly, how to fix it.
She ran some tests to get a read on where my body systems are. I found out some fascinating things. Did you know that your entire immune system is in your gut? Nope, neither did I. So the GI issues I was having were connected to my ramped up immune system which ties into my overactive thyroid. It is like chasing the problem to its roots. I need more of the high test probiotics which will help restore the normal function of my GI track and also calm my immune system. I believe this is what is called a twofer.
But it was when we went over the food allergy test that I understood the degree to which the Universe was putting my willingness to the test.
The idea behind testing for food allergies is that when you ingest something that you are allergic to it creates inflammation. My autoimmunity and hyperthyroidism is already an inflamed state (immune system attacking the thyroid causing it to defend and make too many antibodies and thyroid hormone- or at least this is how I understand it) and adding allergens to the mix increases my already inflamed immune system.
The allergen scale is 0-3 with 3 being the most severe. The naturopath said she usually sees a profile where someone is a 2 or 3 for just a few foods. My results were somewhat shocking in that I rated a 1 on the allergic scale, but to 41 foods! From what I understand this means that I basically have a sensitivity to these foods rather than a true allergy, but that elimination of them for now is the course to take if I am serious about decreasing the hostile environment in my body.
But wait until I tell you what the foods are! For now I cannot (I am trying to reframe it as "will not") eat: oats, corn, yeast- brewer's or baker's, blueberries, salmon, all dairy products, garlic, onions, basil, peanuts, cashews, sunflower (and the associated butters), safflower, egg yolks, spinach, broccoli, barley, lobster, squash and lots of others things. In other words, I am allergic/sensitive to the foods I LIVE on, which of course is probably why I have built up an inflammatory response to them.
It is kind of a vegetarian's nightmare, though. Not only have I become an overnight, and somewhat reluctant vegan, but I also can't eat any yeasted bread (even gluten free bread has yeast), no wine (!), no store-bought veggie burgers, very few types of crackers and, in case you haven't done any label reading lately, there is corn in everything!!
Thank goodness for small favors I can still drink tea and coffee (although not with the cream or milk I like) and eat sweet potatoes. I can have almond butter and Ange did some quick thinking and realized I can make biscuits (which I have...twice) since they don't need yeast. Soy cheese can make an egg white omelet palatable but without onion it sort of seems like why bother? When I realized I couldn't have hummus (another vegetarian staple) because I can't have garlic, tahini or lemon, Ange once again came to my rescue and suggested the shallot. Brilliant. Who would have thought salvation would have come from a shallot? Not I.
And then I happened to be glancing through the list again and onions are in fact on the NO list. And an shallot is, you guessed it, an onion. I momentarily felt that the loss of eating an onion might be the things that pushed me over the edge and driving to the nearest Dunkin' for a Boston cream.
It's like the clean food cleanse (which you can read about here and here) but even more restrictive. I have to pack food wherever I go because the spectrum of what I can eat is so narrow. I can eat almost nothing that comes in a package and, to be honest, that isn't a bad thing. The plan is for me to do this for 3 months as an elimination diet and then reintroduce foods one at a time to see how I tolerate them.
The truth is, I am on day 9 and I actually feel awesome. This is my mentality: I am choosing this. I could choose the Western medicine route, have my thyroid taken, be hypothyroid for the rest of my life and forever dependent on a the associated pharmaceuticals. I could do that and sit and wait for another expression of my imbalanced immune system to target another area of my body. Or I can do this path, the path less travelled and certainly very challenging, and try to actually heal my body at the root cause.
The choice is mine and I am choosing this, even though I can only eat about 15% of the foods I usually eat. Even though I am often hungry and grocery shopping and meal planning has become a new form of torture that takes well over an hour as I scour labels.
I was not planning on this. I have worked for the past year to not have forbidden foods as a way to stop the craziness and fear around food. I have learned moderation and peace around food. It was initially very alarming to me to have such an extensive list of forbidden foods. But, as is my new approach to almost everything in life, I breathed and settled into myself and felt to my core that I could do this and it would all be fine. Not a fight, not a muscle through, not a battle of will power, but a surrender, a choice to act on my own healthy behalf.
There need not be a resounding sense of deprivation here. I am nourished in countless ways other than food. What a concrete way to really drive this point home.
Plus, I realized I could have food beyond soybeans and salad without my favorite dressing. I can eat Newman's Oreo cookies. And some chocolate depending on the presence of milk. I can eat my homemade banana bread and pasta and biscuits. Oh, I already mentioned the biscuits. I'm really, really happy about the biscuits.
I can do this. I want to do this. I deserve to do this for me, for my health, for the knowing that I have done all in my power to transform my health. The truth is, even if the end result is the loss of my thyroid, I will not have lost anything from this process.
A year ago I wanted, needed to be stripped bare and have worked toward that end. This is where that journey has taken me. I accept the gift and opportunity graciously, albeit it with a slightly rumbling tummy.
Yeah, I was hoping maybe you didn't.
A month ago I had an appointment with a naturopathic doctor. I wanted to know what I could be doing, in addition to yoga, meditation and a rather dramatic de-stressing makeover of my life, to balance my body and, specifically to save my thyroid. I wanted her expertise to understand what might be happening in my body that I continue to have significant auto-immunity and, most importantly, how to fix it.
She ran some tests to get a read on where my body systems are. I found out some fascinating things. Did you know that your entire immune system is in your gut? Nope, neither did I. So the GI issues I was having were connected to my ramped up immune system which ties into my overactive thyroid. It is like chasing the problem to its roots. I need more of the high test probiotics which will help restore the normal function of my GI track and also calm my immune system. I believe this is what is called a twofer.
But it was when we went over the food allergy test that I understood the degree to which the Universe was putting my willingness to the test.
The idea behind testing for food allergies is that when you ingest something that you are allergic to it creates inflammation. My autoimmunity and hyperthyroidism is already an inflamed state (immune system attacking the thyroid causing it to defend and make too many antibodies and thyroid hormone- or at least this is how I understand it) and adding allergens to the mix increases my already inflamed immune system.
The allergen scale is 0-3 with 3 being the most severe. The naturopath said she usually sees a profile where someone is a 2 or 3 for just a few foods. My results were somewhat shocking in that I rated a 1 on the allergic scale, but to 41 foods! From what I understand this means that I basically have a sensitivity to these foods rather than a true allergy, but that elimination of them for now is the course to take if I am serious about decreasing the hostile environment in my body.
But wait until I tell you what the foods are! For now I cannot (I am trying to reframe it as "will not") eat: oats, corn, yeast- brewer's or baker's, blueberries, salmon, all dairy products, garlic, onions, basil, peanuts, cashews, sunflower (and the associated butters), safflower, egg yolks, spinach, broccoli, barley, lobster, squash and lots of others things. In other words, I am allergic/sensitive to the foods I LIVE on, which of course is probably why I have built up an inflammatory response to them.
It is kind of a vegetarian's nightmare, though. Not only have I become an overnight, and somewhat reluctant vegan, but I also can't eat any yeasted bread (even gluten free bread has yeast), no wine (!), no store-bought veggie burgers, very few types of crackers and, in case you haven't done any label reading lately, there is corn in everything!!
Thank goodness for small favors I can still drink tea and coffee (although not with the cream or milk I like) and eat sweet potatoes. I can have almond butter and Ange did some quick thinking and realized I can make biscuits (which I have...twice) since they don't need yeast. Soy cheese can make an egg white omelet palatable but without onion it sort of seems like why bother? When I realized I couldn't have hummus (another vegetarian staple) because I can't have garlic, tahini or lemon, Ange once again came to my rescue and suggested the shallot. Brilliant. Who would have thought salvation would have come from a shallot? Not I.
And then I happened to be glancing through the list again and onions are in fact on the NO list. And an shallot is, you guessed it, an onion. I momentarily felt that the loss of eating an onion might be the things that pushed me over the edge and driving to the nearest Dunkin' for a Boston cream.
It's like the clean food cleanse (which you can read about here and here) but even more restrictive. I have to pack food wherever I go because the spectrum of what I can eat is so narrow. I can eat almost nothing that comes in a package and, to be honest, that isn't a bad thing. The plan is for me to do this for 3 months as an elimination diet and then reintroduce foods one at a time to see how I tolerate them.
The truth is, I am on day 9 and I actually feel awesome. This is my mentality: I am choosing this. I could choose the Western medicine route, have my thyroid taken, be hypothyroid for the rest of my life and forever dependent on a the associated pharmaceuticals. I could do that and sit and wait for another expression of my imbalanced immune system to target another area of my body. Or I can do this path, the path less travelled and certainly very challenging, and try to actually heal my body at the root cause.
The choice is mine and I am choosing this, even though I can only eat about 15% of the foods I usually eat. Even though I am often hungry and grocery shopping and meal planning has become a new form of torture that takes well over an hour as I scour labels.
I was not planning on this. I have worked for the past year to not have forbidden foods as a way to stop the craziness and fear around food. I have learned moderation and peace around food. It was initially very alarming to me to have such an extensive list of forbidden foods. But, as is my new approach to almost everything in life, I breathed and settled into myself and felt to my core that I could do this and it would all be fine. Not a fight, not a muscle through, not a battle of will power, but a surrender, a choice to act on my own healthy behalf.
There need not be a resounding sense of deprivation here. I am nourished in countless ways other than food. What a concrete way to really drive this point home.
Plus, I realized I could have food beyond soybeans and salad without my favorite dressing. I can eat Newman's Oreo cookies. And some chocolate depending on the presence of milk. I can eat my homemade banana bread and pasta and biscuits. Oh, I already mentioned the biscuits. I'm really, really happy about the biscuits.
I can do this. I want to do this. I deserve to do this for me, for my health, for the knowing that I have done all in my power to transform my health. The truth is, even if the end result is the loss of my thyroid, I will not have lost anything from this process.
A year ago I wanted, needed to be stripped bare and have worked toward that end. This is where that journey has taken me. I accept the gift and opportunity graciously, albeit it with a slightly rumbling tummy.
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
farm share happiness
Our visit to Fisher Farm yesterday for the first CSA pick-up was like a winter's dream come true. I felt like I needed my own countdown chart like we do for the kids when something they anticipate is a long way off. Last Monday I said to myself, "Is it tomorrow?!" only to realize we still had a week to go.
I long for the green goodness of Fisher Farm in the depth of winter, but especially in the murkiness of March and April. Then, finally, yesterday was the first of 22 weeks we get to reap the rewards of our hardworking and much beloved farmers.
I believe this is our tenth year as members of Fisher Farm (we started the summer I was pregnant with Ella) and I can tell you that it is very happy relationship. For $580 (that is only $26 a week) we get to eat the best food I could imagine.
I say, happy Fisher Farm day and yay for the season when healthy food is sold on the side of the road!
Friday, May 24, 2013
shoots of green
I have wanted to write an update post for a while, to report in on the progress I am making on my journey inward with food and with my life. But I wasn't sure I had come far enough to write about it. Realizing that this is just another form of perfectionism, I am taking the risk to write it imperfectly.
First let me tell you a silly little story.
When I drive, it is a habit of mine to look at the drivers of the oncoming cars. I'm not saying this is a safe habit and I'm not saying I look at each and every driver, but I tend to remember what friends of mine drive what cars and I look out for them on the road. Call it nosey, call it a symptom of extroversion, call it plain old reckless. Either way, because of the schedule of my life, I tend to see the same people coming and going on the road between my house and the school and I like to wave to them as we pass.
There is a woman I pass one to three times a week. I do not know her, have never met her. She used to drive a teel colored Rav 4 and she has chin-length, fluffy, blondish hair. I would approximate her age somewhere between 50 and 80. I started noticing her car because it is the same model and color my friend Ann drives. But every time I would see the car, it wouldn't be Ann but this other woman - I imagine her name to be Estelle- behind the wheel. The next week I would see it again and prepare to wave to Ann but, nope not Ann. It would be Estelle each and every time.
For three years I have seen this woman coming and going as I do on the same stretch of road to and from town. She's become a familiar face, a reason to smile at life as this not-so-stranger passed me yet again.
More recently, as I have been searching deeply for meaning, for context, for hope and transformation, I found that passing her on the road has somehow become a signal of the interconnectedness of life, the unseen web threaded from one of us to the other across the millions of souls dwelling here. I realize this may seem like an overstatement, but honestly I have a hard time meeting up with the people I try to meet up with. To consistently come across a stranger in the same two mile stretch of road, day in day out, week after week, year after year... it makes me feel as though there is something bigger than my insular life. It is a lifting of the veil, a breath that takes me deeper.
And then last week I passed "Estelle" and smiled as I saw her and then laughed aloud when I realized she had a new car! It wasn't even her car that was connecting me to this stranger anymore. I saw her even in her new wheels.
It is a process Elizabeth Lesser describes to well in her beautiful and amazing book Broken Open:
"Over and over, we are broken on the shore of life. Our stubborn egos are knocked around, and our frightened hearts are broken open- not once, and not in predicatable patters, but in surprising ways and for as long as we live. The promise of being broken and the possibility of being opened are written into the contract of human life....When you feel yourself breaking down, may you break open instead. May every experience in life be a door that opens your heart, expands your understanding and leads you to freedom."
So many of my old ways of being are falling away. In their ashes, I am finding the rudiments of a new a way of living, of loving, of breathing, of existing. As it has been many times, again I find the image of the phoenix, a new life born from the ashes of the old one, present in my life.
I am no longer interested in beating myself down, forcing myself to do things, rushing around, being in a perpetual state of overwhelmed tension and judging myself by some invisible measure - one that is more like a tightrope where any missed step receives harsh internal judgement.
I am working to be on my own side, listen to my own needs, putting myself (sometimes) before others.
These are not easy things to set down or easy ones to pick up. As a woman, as a mother, it seems as though it is written in my DNA to be selfless, tireless and capable. Otherwise I would be one of those weak, vulnerable women and no proud, powerful woman wants that.
How to be all these things at once? How do I care for myself and set aside any familial, social or cultural notions about who or what I am supposed to be? How do I get to know myself, and my deepest wants and needs without the overlay of what I have been taught, what I have told myself and what the world expects of me?
What do I want? What do I need? Who am I really when I am not pulling, pushing, striving, mandating of myself?
This, for me, is what being broken open has been at this point of my life. (It has looked very different at other points in my life.) I have cracked along my own fault lines and have to go deep inside myself to really see what I am all about.
Evesdropping on my own thoughts, I am astounded by how much rehabilitation they need. I can be so harsh and critical toward's myself. I am using mindfulness to pay attention to the careless ways in which I think and act. I am meditating and writing. I am paying attention to what I really need.
I have to tell you that it isn't exactly convienient to be a semi-single mother of two trying to put myself back into the center of my life.
I am realizing how often I do things I don't want to do, force myself to accomplish things, take on too much, or simply don't allow myself to rest. I am trying to ask myself what I want in any given moment, what I need. Why am I reaching for food when I am not hungry? What need am I trying to fill? Most often it is a need for rest, play, indulgence, unproductivity, connection. It is hard work to do more than just acknowledge these needs and instead to actively fulfill them.
The truth is sometimes I do say no. Other times I don't and then I watch myself rushing around, unable to breath, losing my ability to be mindful and present, eating on the fly and not caring for my body or my soul and thinking: damn, I've done it again.
It is such a relief to have Sandi and other people who love me that remind me often that it is okay to not do it all. Other times it isn't a relief and I want to yell back, "If I don't do it who will?" Sometimes the prompts are gentle and subtle, sometimes more obvious. Like when Emilie sent me this list of badass ways to say no. It is a must read.
The funny thing about asking myself some of these tougher questions is that I would have told you a year ago that I didn't have trouble setting boundaries and limits for myself. I would have told you that I did all that I did because I loved it, wanted it, because it fed me. The truth lies somewhere in the middle. I am the sort of person that thrives on projects, activity, living right in the messy middle of life. But I am also so driven that I don't know when to say no to myself until I have gotten too far in over my head.
I read this by Geneen Roth the other day:
"Rejection (of the self) takes many forms: shame, an intense focus on self-improvement. Rejection can feel like determination, will power, restlessness to change. I observe that I am pulled between a basic trust of myself and a basic fear. Between letting myself alone and believing that if I don't shove myself, I will never move."
Amen.
Specific to food, I have been working for about 3 1/2 months on the Roth's eating guidelines (which I wrote about here). It has been a bumpy, imperfect road. I have realized the profound difficulty in eating what I want when I am not at my ideal weight and working through the guilt and mind games therein. I have observed the startling difference between eating to the point of satisfaction instead of fullness and the difficulty I have stopping before I am actually full. I have witnessed nearly every day how hard it is for me to not eat standing up, checking my email, watching TV or while driving. I struggle to take the time to sit mindfully with food and enjoy it. I think I partly struggle with feeling that it is a worthwhile use of my time.
I feel like a toddler learning to walk. I am on my bottom more than on my feet. But when I stand...let me tell you there are miracles happening. I am eating without reproach and finding pockets of tenderness for my body exactly as it is. I am finding the joy of listening to my body in what it wants and how much it needs. It is like establishing a long-lost line of communication. It feels like from this mindful center of me dwelling in me, anything is possible.
I am learning to trust myself and how I feel and what I want. I am learning that there is no yard stick for my journey and that if it ever were to be measurable it would be the lightness of my heart.
Today Maya "graduates" from preschool. This breaks me open in ways that I find hard to articulate. I am a petri dish of emotions and the tears I shed are a cockatil of pride, longing for moments that will never be again, sadness at losing my baby, gratitude to have my child meet her milestones and fear as she moves out into the world of public school, larger classes, standarized testing, rubrics and report cards.
All I really know is that this life. This is real living. Pain, joy, loss, excitement, ending, beginnings, saying goodbye, saying hello. If I'm going to live bare, my heart open and unguarded by food, or distraction, busyness or an attempt to control every last thing, then I will be broken open endlessly. And each time I break, more light, more love, more life will flood into the cracks and make me whole.
And each time I can extend or receive love, make a meaningful connection with another human being, or see some random woman driving her car along my same road, these are like shooting stars across my galaxy to help me remember that I am not alone, that it worthwhile to look beneath the superficial parts of living and ask the difficult questions. But that most of all, my big heart, with its messy love and unknown depths, is connected to all others.
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
quinoa- the new t-bone?
Is it just me or does it seem that even the things that are good for you, really and truly good for you, eventually end up being bad in some way?
Take water for example. Drink plenty of it, more than you even want. But make sure it isn't polluted. Or you could just buy spring water and add to the global climate crisis by increasing the demand on fossil fuels to make the plastic and ship it all over creation.
Eat soy. Soy is good for you. The Japanese eat lots of soy and they have a very low rate of cancer. So eat tofu and be the butt of every Thanksgiving meal because you are eating Toferky. But wait! Don't eat too much tofu because it is highly processed and there is concern about the estrogen-like effects which might actually put women at greater risk for certain types of breast cancer. (In actuality, there isn't too much a debate here. It is not soy itself, or even tofu, that might be nutritionally risky. It is the very processed from of soy, soy isolate, that people might want to watch out for. I found a great article that shed some light on the soy debate.)
It seems that anytime we actually have the opportunity for some light back-patting over a healthy, globally responsible choice as a citizen of the Earth, someone comes and rains on the parade.
Take quinoa for example. Check out how much a 3 pound bag cost at the health food store.
Apparently, the touted superfood status of quinoa has had some damaging effects on the grain's place in the global market and has had some major ramifications for those who grow it. Ange, always one to keep me informed since I basically live under a rock with no newspaper, news and a thin diet of social media, sent me this article about why the Bolivians who grow quinoa can no longer afford to eat it themselves. This one discusses the massive ecological strain of the vegetarian market, including threatening water resources, increasing deforestation and the fact that many of the countries that fulfill the demands of vegetable-based food now themselves subsist on cheaper, nutritionally devoid processed food.
Sigh and double sigh.
Now, I share these things with great caution for there is no way that vegetarianism is as damaging to earth as the ecological demands of commercial meat production. The acres and acres of earth devoted to raising cows (both for them to live on and the acres needed to grow the corn to feed them) opposed to vegetables is out of sight. Cow flatulence (you heard me right) is a major contributor to greenhouse gases. Seriously.
What these articles really highlight is the fact that wealthy, developed countries such as ours generally say what we want from the world and the world responds. We have the money to pay for the superfoods grown in rural Bolivia and suddenly there is a market, a demand and a massive price climb.
I have no idea how to fix such a thing and I don't even really grasp economics well. But I do know that I just don't feel right creating my own nutritional bubble while other people, those who produce it, suffer.
The whole thing leaves me wanting to whine to the sky, "Why can't we all just get along?" and then go eat my quinoa in peace.
In an act of great irony, I am going to now share one of my favorite quinoa recipes with you because it also doesn't feel right to me to post a bumper sticker to my car with the word quinoa with a circle and an X through it. My friend Heather shared it with me from Eating Well (November/December 2011).
Pear-Quinoa Salad
- 14 oz. vegetable broth (or water)
-1 cup quinoa
- 2 TBSP walnut or canola oil (I used only 1)
-1-2 TBSP fruity vinegar, such as pear, raspberry or pomegranate
-1/4 cup snipped fresh chives (can substitute scallions)
-1/4 tsp fresh ground pepper
-1/4 tsp salt
-2 ripe but firm pears, peeled and diced (I prefer bosc)
-1/2 cup coarsely chopped walnuts or pecans, toasted
Prep:
1. Boil the broth in a large saucepan. Stir in the quinoa, reduce heat to maintain a simmer. Cover and cook until the liquid is absorbed and the outer shell of the quinoa has opened, about 15 minutes. Transfer to a large bowl and cool.
2. Meanwhile, whisk the oil, vinegar, chives, salt and pepper. Add the pears to coat. Add to the cooled quinoa. Toss to combine. Top with toasted nuts. May be served chilled or at room temperature.
Thursday, December 6, 2012
paradigm shifts a comin'
I have a bunch of posts that are half done and I apologize for not posting for a week. Lately when I sit down to write I feel stilted and somewhat irritable and find myself up within a half hour. I don't know if I am simply on computer overload after this fall, but I feel similarly about Facebook. I spent so much time there as the campaign drew to a close and now I find I have almost an aversion to it.
But truthfully, I have been wholly preoccupied with a massive shift I feel coming inside me. It's the kind of awareness that has been knocking on my door for a while, but when I open the door to find it I sigh and close the door and it patiently waits outside until it dares knock again.
Accept now it isn't knocking politely. It is pounding with the urgency of someone stuck out in the cold in bare feet. This time when I opened the door, it came barreling in, sat me down on the couch and said, "We need to talk."
I'm talking, of course, about my relationship to my body and what I eat. Despite my wishes for it to be otherwise, we are currently involved in a dysfunctional relationship.
Here's what it boils down to: I have a really healthy, vegetarian diet. Except that I also eat junk, and way too much of it, from time to time. Or everyday. I know I've talked about this before, emotional eating, feeling guilty about what I eat, struggling with the inevitable weight gain. Sometimes it's an issue and sometimes it isn't.
For whatever reason - be it the amount of stress in my life with Sandi in school, my overactive thyroid which truly does whisper in my ear that it is appropriate to eat a few fistfuls of chocolate chips while I make supper or that a second helping of ice cream is a sound diet choice, or just some funk that I'm in at this point in my life- I am struggling right now.
I've had a lot of luck on Weight Watchers in the past and when I've tried to do it this fall I just feel cranky and caged and end up stringing together 2 good days followed by 2 awful days. I don't want anyone telling me what I can and can't eat. Except that with me at the healm deciding, I am choosing in ways that hurt me. The real issue for me at this point is beyond worry about my weight, and true concern about the damage I'm causing to my soul. The "screw it, I will eat what I damn well please" is quickly followed by guilt, self-loathing and eventually desperation.
I simply cannot do this to myself anymore.
I am reading and researching a bunch about eating and food. I have decided my issues are three fold: 1) what I eat, 2) how I eat and 3) how I feel the rest of the time. It is true that certain foods have too much pull once I start eating them, yet it is also true that if I'm taking care of what is in my heart and not turning to food to do more than nourish and sustain, than having just one cup of ice cream or 1 cookie seems reasonable.
What I find, though, is that I will go along just fine for a day or two and be eating responsibly and kindly to my body and then before I know it I am heading down that road toward destruction. I need an inordinate amount of presence to not be operating on auto-pilot and, honestly, I'm not always sure I have the stomach for it.
Who doesn't want to escape the moment when supper is burning, the kids are fighting, dirty lunchboxes litter your counter and a mountain of to-be-folded laundry teeters higher than you?
The three books that I have read lately and have really spoken to me are Geneen Roth's "Women, Food and God" (I have been re-reading this book over the past few years), Michael Pollen's "Food Rules" and, most recently, "The Kind Diet" by Alicia Silverstone. I've also watched a bunch of documentaries about food, nutrition and the food industry and there is one resounding theme.
I need a new way of eating.
I want to be a clean, whole foods eater, possibly even a vegan (there is a lot of research out there about animal products, specifically dairy, feeding cancer cells) who doesn't consume a bunch of food made from factories (sugar-free products anyone?). I want to eat the right amount for my body so that I can maintain a healthy body weight and not keep gaining a losing the same 10 pounds. I want to cultivate a mindfulness that allows me to truly enjoy the food I'm eating, instead of making food a slave to my own emotional needs.
I am trying to move slowly and with great awareness. I am nervous to banish certain foods entirely or declare myself as anything because I am nervous about the potential backlash from my self-willed inner boss who will only wish to sabotage me.
I am tired of failing, of having good eating days and bad eating days. I no longer wish to walk the tightrope of eating. I am exhausted from having my internal landscape be determined my what I put in my mouth. I'm tired of feeling like I don't get a say in the whole thing and that I am just a puppet.
Someone once said: "Take care of your body or else where will you live?"
My body is a temple right? Not a punching bag or the central city dump?
I have been fasting a lot- 13 of the last 21 days. It is hard, especially the first two days of each stint. But it gives me such clarity and focus on how I feel that I am reluctant to give it up. My return to eating after each fast has shown me just how much work I have to do. Yet, I am officially tired of fasting now and am aware that I must face this issue down and dance with the tiger.
Each Christmas I do a ton of baking. I truly love it. I love the process- deciding what to make, buying the supplies, making a mess of my kitchen. I love organizing tins and plates and delivering them to my neighbors and friends. I am scared silly to use flour and sugar and butter to make anything right now. I don't want to taint something I love with my misuse and abuse of food. I haven't decided exactly how to handle this. Yet I figure if the main thing that I am striving for is moderation, self-acceptance, kindness, gentleness and presence than if I can keep those things at the front of my awareness perhaps I will be able to still do what has always brought me great joy.
I've often wondered if part of my issue is that I deprieve myself so much that I am like an overfed starving person searching constanly for the freedom to just be without rigid rules or guidelines. Yet, when you are as black and white a thinker as I am, rigitity brings comfort and security that I am, frankly, nervous without.
I guess what I'm saying is that I am going to go for it. I am going to pave a new way for myself but listening to myself - my true self, not the sabatoging voice that gets me into trouble time and again. Yes, I'm terrified of failing and hurting myself all over again. But I feel that there is this very wise, grounded part of me that knows and can show me the way.
It is just a flicker right now but I hope to give it some oxygen and watch it burst into flame.
But truthfully, I have been wholly preoccupied with a massive shift I feel coming inside me. It's the kind of awareness that has been knocking on my door for a while, but when I open the door to find it I sigh and close the door and it patiently waits outside until it dares knock again.
Accept now it isn't knocking politely. It is pounding with the urgency of someone stuck out in the cold in bare feet. This time when I opened the door, it came barreling in, sat me down on the couch and said, "We need to talk."
I'm talking, of course, about my relationship to my body and what I eat. Despite my wishes for it to be otherwise, we are currently involved in a dysfunctional relationship.
Here's what it boils down to: I have a really healthy, vegetarian diet. Except that I also eat junk, and way too much of it, from time to time. Or everyday. I know I've talked about this before, emotional eating, feeling guilty about what I eat, struggling with the inevitable weight gain. Sometimes it's an issue and sometimes it isn't.
For whatever reason - be it the amount of stress in my life with Sandi in school, my overactive thyroid which truly does whisper in my ear that it is appropriate to eat a few fistfuls of chocolate chips while I make supper or that a second helping of ice cream is a sound diet choice, or just some funk that I'm in at this point in my life- I am struggling right now.
I've had a lot of luck on Weight Watchers in the past and when I've tried to do it this fall I just feel cranky and caged and end up stringing together 2 good days followed by 2 awful days. I don't want anyone telling me what I can and can't eat. Except that with me at the healm deciding, I am choosing in ways that hurt me. The real issue for me at this point is beyond worry about my weight, and true concern about the damage I'm causing to my soul. The "screw it, I will eat what I damn well please" is quickly followed by guilt, self-loathing and eventually desperation.
I simply cannot do this to myself anymore.
I am reading and researching a bunch about eating and food. I have decided my issues are three fold: 1) what I eat, 2) how I eat and 3) how I feel the rest of the time. It is true that certain foods have too much pull once I start eating them, yet it is also true that if I'm taking care of what is in my heart and not turning to food to do more than nourish and sustain, than having just one cup of ice cream or 1 cookie seems reasonable.
What I find, though, is that I will go along just fine for a day or two and be eating responsibly and kindly to my body and then before I know it I am heading down that road toward destruction. I need an inordinate amount of presence to not be operating on auto-pilot and, honestly, I'm not always sure I have the stomach for it.
Who doesn't want to escape the moment when supper is burning, the kids are fighting, dirty lunchboxes litter your counter and a mountain of to-be-folded laundry teeters higher than you?
The three books that I have read lately and have really spoken to me are Geneen Roth's "Women, Food and God" (I have been re-reading this book over the past few years), Michael Pollen's "Food Rules" and, most recently, "The Kind Diet" by Alicia Silverstone. I've also watched a bunch of documentaries about food, nutrition and the food industry and there is one resounding theme.
I need a new way of eating.
I want to be a clean, whole foods eater, possibly even a vegan (there is a lot of research out there about animal products, specifically dairy, feeding cancer cells) who doesn't consume a bunch of food made from factories (sugar-free products anyone?). I want to eat the right amount for my body so that I can maintain a healthy body weight and not keep gaining a losing the same 10 pounds. I want to cultivate a mindfulness that allows me to truly enjoy the food I'm eating, instead of making food a slave to my own emotional needs.
I am trying to move slowly and with great awareness. I am nervous to banish certain foods entirely or declare myself as anything because I am nervous about the potential backlash from my self-willed inner boss who will only wish to sabotage me.
I am tired of failing, of having good eating days and bad eating days. I no longer wish to walk the tightrope of eating. I am exhausted from having my internal landscape be determined my what I put in my mouth. I'm tired of feeling like I don't get a say in the whole thing and that I am just a puppet.
Someone once said: "Take care of your body or else where will you live?"
My body is a temple right? Not a punching bag or the central city dump?
I have been fasting a lot- 13 of the last 21 days. It is hard, especially the first two days of each stint. But it gives me such clarity and focus on how I feel that I am reluctant to give it up. My return to eating after each fast has shown me just how much work I have to do. Yet, I am officially tired of fasting now and am aware that I must face this issue down and dance with the tiger.
Each Christmas I do a ton of baking. I truly love it. I love the process- deciding what to make, buying the supplies, making a mess of my kitchen. I love organizing tins and plates and delivering them to my neighbors and friends. I am scared silly to use flour and sugar and butter to make anything right now. I don't want to taint something I love with my misuse and abuse of food. I haven't decided exactly how to handle this. Yet I figure if the main thing that I am striving for is moderation, self-acceptance, kindness, gentleness and presence than if I can keep those things at the front of my awareness perhaps I will be able to still do what has always brought me great joy.
I've often wondered if part of my issue is that I deprieve myself so much that I am like an overfed starving person searching constanly for the freedom to just be without rigid rules or guidelines. Yet, when you are as black and white a thinker as I am, rigitity brings comfort and security that I am, frankly, nervous without.
I guess what I'm saying is that I am going to go for it. I am going to pave a new way for myself but listening to myself - my true self, not the sabatoging voice that gets me into trouble time and again. Yes, I'm terrified of failing and hurting myself all over again. But I feel that there is this very wise, grounded part of me that knows and can show me the way.
It is just a flicker right now but I hope to give it some oxygen and watch it burst into flame.
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
juiced
I am very pleased to tell you that I have done my juice fast for 5 days.
I'm also somewhat shocked to report that I am a little bit sad for it to end. I wouldn't have thought I would say that on Saturday night (day 2) when all I wanted was to sink my teeth into a squishy piece of warm pizza crust. Or when I was slicing a knife through a creamy cheesecake and I could imagine exactly how it would feel in my eager mouth.
Come to think of it day two was probably the hardest. I thought about giving it up because I was missing the eating festivities. But then I thought how can you end a fast to eat pizza and cheesecake and feel good about it? I was super proud of myself as I slid the half eaten pieces of pizza and cheesecake (the criminality!) into the trash and reminded myself that I DID NOT HAVE TO EAT THEM and the world wouldn't end.
Once I got all the food put away and the girls were asleep, I got a text from my friend Jen: there are chocolate peanut butter cupcakes on your back doorstep. Oh no!!! I wanted to shake my fist at the sky. How much temptation do you think I can withstand?!
For the record I adore Jen and I so appreciate that she was thinking of us. And I did come to really laugh at the irony of the situation. Once she remembered we were on the fast she suggested we put them in the freezer which I promptly did (after handling each delicious looking wonder and trying not to inhale their chocolaty fumes). I also realized that on any other Saturday night where I am not exercising any self-control, I would have eaten the pizza, the homemade french fries, the cheesecake AND a cupcake and been full of remorse, regret and a touch of desperation.
I believe rehabilitation happens in those moments where you have to be extra strong and extra brave and withstand a mountain of temptation in the form of refined sugar and saturated fat.
By day three I was feeling truly amazing. especially since I was aware of all I did NOT eat the night before and I have felt great since. There have been some moments of tired, but honestly less than I have in my normal, non-fasting life. Tomorrow will be day 6 and I plan to break the fast at dinner tomorrow so that I can adjust my stomach to eating before I sit down for Thanksgiving dinner.
My blood sugars (I'm a type I diabetic) had been very erratic in the week prior to my fast and they have completely stabilized. I am not due for a thyroid check for another few weeks and I plan to build in some days of juice fasting into the holiday season/pre-endocronologist appointment date.
Some people have asked questions so here are some answers plus some interesting observations:
-If I'm going to be away from the house (I went to my sister's for the day Sunday), I juice and take it with me in a cooler. Juice is optimal when freshly made but, hey, later is better than never in my book.
- I've been drinking water like crazy and I don't pee as much as I would if I drank the same amount while eating. I have no idea how this works but it is kind of cool.
-I drink fresh lemon and cayenne with hot water instead of tea or coffee and it is strangely comforting and satisfying.
-I am totally digging the not having to think about food or if I'm eating too much of this or too little of that.
-I am hungry sometimes, but it has lessened as the days have gone on and I find that I am more comfortable being hungry than I usually am.
-Fasting on Saturday, which was a stimulating and parentally-draining kind of day, I definitely felt edgy with no buffer between me and the world. It was very enlightening to witness how many moments I had the urge to grab something to eat in a moment of stress or tension.
-The fast has gotten easier each day. I guess it is just like any habit.
- Yes, cleaning all 6 individual parts of the juicer are kind of a pain in the ass but I'm not really exercising so I have more time than usual so no big deal.
-I have lost 7 pounds.
-I went to the YES on 1 celebration party (the official one put on by Equality Maine) and did not partake in the drinking or the appetizers. I drank water and focused instead on the really cool people there and guess what? It was still fun plus I didn't have to come home and lament about the chips I'd eaten.
-I drink juice 4-6 times a day depending on how hungry I am or how many ounces each batch is. Usually I drink about 16 oz of juice at a time.
-I went to the gym on Monday and definitely felt depleted and like I was kind of dragging myself around. Other than that my energy level is great.
-I am scared to start eating again. There I've said it. I worry a little that I still can't be trusted to be good to my body.
Here is a typical veggie juice we've been making: carrots, kale, tomato, fennel, Brussels sprouts, mini-peppers, a lemon, ginger and butternut squash. A bowlful of nutrition.
There are so many delicious fruit combos. This morning I had pears, apples, oranges and lime for breakfast.
Here's a great recipe from reboot your life.
1 cup cranberries
1 orange, peel removed
1 organic apple
1 cup butternut squash (Australian butternut pumpkin), cubed
4-6 leaves collard greens (Australian cabbage leaves) about 1 cup, packed
I used kale for the greens. Juice push it all through a juicer, drink and listen for the faint sound of your cells singing the Hallelujah chorus.
I've tried to tally up how much the juice fast has cost us and I came up with about $12/day. That is buying the bulk of the produce at Walmart (not my ideal) and largely not organic. I bought all organic carrots, some of the apples and I bought a bunch of local squash from a farm stand. That is really not that expensive considering the massive health benefits of juicing.
I honestly feel so good right now that I am truly curious why I would ever let anything other than vitality-enhancing food cross my lips. Why would I ever let my desire for taste override my natural wisdom of what feeds me? I'm starting to understand that there are two facets of healthy eating: what you eat and how you eat. I was flunking at both. I'm hoping that this fast is the start of a paradigm shift in me so I can release the push/pull with food and consistently want to make choices that support me, instead of shred me. It is my hope that the scale has shifted and want for the good will overpower my lifelong craving for the bad.
Tomorrow we got to Beals Island and I work doing massage all day and then we stay for Thanksgiving. I will juice in the morning for the day and then eat dinner. Rumor has it that we are having lobster. Ever heard of breaking a fast with lobster? No, me either.
I'm also somewhat shocked to report that I am a little bit sad for it to end. I wouldn't have thought I would say that on Saturday night (day 2) when all I wanted was to sink my teeth into a squishy piece of warm pizza crust. Or when I was slicing a knife through a creamy cheesecake and I could imagine exactly how it would feel in my eager mouth.
Come to think of it day two was probably the hardest. I thought about giving it up because I was missing the eating festivities. But then I thought how can you end a fast to eat pizza and cheesecake and feel good about it? I was super proud of myself as I slid the half eaten pieces of pizza and cheesecake (the criminality!) into the trash and reminded myself that I DID NOT HAVE TO EAT THEM and the world wouldn't end.
Once I got all the food put away and the girls were asleep, I got a text from my friend Jen: there are chocolate peanut butter cupcakes on your back doorstep. Oh no!!! I wanted to shake my fist at the sky. How much temptation do you think I can withstand?!
For the record I adore Jen and I so appreciate that she was thinking of us. And I did come to really laugh at the irony of the situation. Once she remembered we were on the fast she suggested we put them in the freezer which I promptly did (after handling each delicious looking wonder and trying not to inhale their chocolaty fumes). I also realized that on any other Saturday night where I am not exercising any self-control, I would have eaten the pizza, the homemade french fries, the cheesecake AND a cupcake and been full of remorse, regret and a touch of desperation.
I believe rehabilitation happens in those moments where you have to be extra strong and extra brave and withstand a mountain of temptation in the form of refined sugar and saturated fat.
By day three I was feeling truly amazing. especially since I was aware of all I did NOT eat the night before and I have felt great since. There have been some moments of tired, but honestly less than I have in my normal, non-fasting life. Tomorrow will be day 6 and I plan to break the fast at dinner tomorrow so that I can adjust my stomach to eating before I sit down for Thanksgiving dinner.
My blood sugars (I'm a type I diabetic) had been very erratic in the week prior to my fast and they have completely stabilized. I am not due for a thyroid check for another few weeks and I plan to build in some days of juice fasting into the holiday season/pre-endocronologist appointment date.
Some people have asked questions so here are some answers plus some interesting observations:
-If I'm going to be away from the house (I went to my sister's for the day Sunday), I juice and take it with me in a cooler. Juice is optimal when freshly made but, hey, later is better than never in my book.
- I've been drinking water like crazy and I don't pee as much as I would if I drank the same amount while eating. I have no idea how this works but it is kind of cool.
-I drink fresh lemon and cayenne with hot water instead of tea or coffee and it is strangely comforting and satisfying.
-I am totally digging the not having to think about food or if I'm eating too much of this or too little of that.
-I am hungry sometimes, but it has lessened as the days have gone on and I find that I am more comfortable being hungry than I usually am.
-Fasting on Saturday, which was a stimulating and parentally-draining kind of day, I definitely felt edgy with no buffer between me and the world. It was very enlightening to witness how many moments I had the urge to grab something to eat in a moment of stress or tension.
-The fast has gotten easier each day. I guess it is just like any habit.
- Yes, cleaning all 6 individual parts of the juicer are kind of a pain in the ass but I'm not really exercising so I have more time than usual so no big deal.
-I have lost 7 pounds.
-I went to the YES on 1 celebration party (the official one put on by Equality Maine) and did not partake in the drinking or the appetizers. I drank water and focused instead on the really cool people there and guess what? It was still fun plus I didn't have to come home and lament about the chips I'd eaten.
-I drink juice 4-6 times a day depending on how hungry I am or how many ounces each batch is. Usually I drink about 16 oz of juice at a time.
-I went to the gym on Monday and definitely felt depleted and like I was kind of dragging myself around. Other than that my energy level is great.
-I am scared to start eating again. There I've said it. I worry a little that I still can't be trusted to be good to my body.
Here is a typical veggie juice we've been making: carrots, kale, tomato, fennel, Brussels sprouts, mini-peppers, a lemon, ginger and butternut squash. A bowlful of nutrition.
Here's a great recipe from reboot your life.
I used kale for the greens. Juice push it all through a juicer, drink and listen for the faint sound of your cells singing the Hallelujah chorus.
I've tried to tally up how much the juice fast has cost us and I came up with about $12/day. That is buying the bulk of the produce at Walmart (not my ideal) and largely not organic. I bought all organic carrots, some of the apples and I bought a bunch of local squash from a farm stand. That is really not that expensive considering the massive health benefits of juicing.
I honestly feel so good right now that I am truly curious why I would ever let anything other than vitality-enhancing food cross my lips. Why would I ever let my desire for taste override my natural wisdom of what feeds me? I'm starting to understand that there are two facets of healthy eating: what you eat and how you eat. I was flunking at both. I'm hoping that this fast is the start of a paradigm shift in me so I can release the push/pull with food and consistently want to make choices that support me, instead of shred me. It is my hope that the scale has shifted and want for the good will overpower my lifelong craving for the bad.
Tomorrow we got to Beals Island and I work doing massage all day and then we stay for Thanksgiving. I will juice in the morning for the day and then eat dinner. Rumor has it that we are having lobster. Ever heard of breaking a fast with lobster? No, me either.
Saturday, November 17, 2012
reboot
There have been a culmination of events in my life that have prompted me to reexamine my daily habits with my body and how I eat.
First of all, the election has taken quite a hit on me. I feel like I am in a hole that I am trying to dig myself out of. I haven't had my usual motivation and stamina. I mostly want to sit on the couch. My heart still hurts on a daily basis. I am trying to put the pieces of life back together and it hasn't come easily. The way I have been feeling is the way I would expect to feel if we had lost the vote so this brokenness has been surprising.
Then I got a cold. And my doctor called me and told me that my thyroid levels are climbing again and I need more medication and an appointment with her next month to discuss more "permanent" solutions to this problem. The only two solutions I know about are taking radioactive iodine to knock back an overactive thyroid (the taking of which means you can't be around kids for 5 days not to mention the other ramifications of putting a radioactive substance in your body) and surgical removal of the thyroid (which makes you hypothyroid for the rest of you life).
Add to all of this that Sandi and I finally watched the documentary Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead this week and the wheels started turning.
The documentary is about this man who decides that if he doesn't make some changes to his diet he will probably die soon. At 309 pounds, grappling with a very painful autoimmune skin disease for which he takes heavy daily doses of steroids and having a diet of poor nutrition and excess, he does something radical. He goes on a 60 day juice fast. He travels all over the U.S. talking to people about their diets and their health, all the while juicing kale, apples, carrots and the like in the back of his car by a battery powered juicer.
How can you not take an immediate shine to someone who has a battery powered juicer in his trunk?
I understand the health crisis that our country is in specific to obesity. After all, that is why I was such an advocate for reducing the amount of chocolate milk being served to kids in our school. But to hear some of these interviews where people would say, "Because of my size and what I eat I will probably only live to be 50-55, but hey, at least I will die eating what I love."
This man, Joe (who closely followed medically) ends up losing 72 pounds in 60 days. He says the fast was hard but the real difficulty came when returned to healthy eating. He adopted a plant based diet and dropped 90 pounds total. He also convinces another man with the same autoimmune condition, to try a juice cleanse. At 429 pounds, Phil also does a 60 day juice cleanse followed by a diet overhaul and ends up losing 202 pounds. Both men no longer need the powerful, potentially dangerous medications they once took and they have inspired thousands of people to "reboot" their bodies through juice fasts.
After watching the documentary and witnessing the transformation of these men, I was truly inspired to see if a juice fast could help me.
The idea of the juice fast is to ingest the micronutrients found in fruits and vegetables in a highly usable, nutrition packed juice. This isn't meant to be bottled juice but fresh juice made at home from fresh fruits and vegetables. It is a fast in that it gives your body a break from digestion and cleanses the tract completely.
Think of it like resting a machine that has been running nonstop and deserves a break.
Sandi has always been into juicing. And I was years back when I did a healing diet to help cure myself from a horrendous case of uclerative colitis I developed while pregnant with Ella. I would say we are very healthy eaters who imbibe in coffee, alcohol, chocolate, etc on occasion (or daily). For us a juice fast isn't a detox from pepperoni pizza, Slim Jim's and cheese doodles. But it is an opportunity to wipe our physical slates clean. It is also a way to bombard your body, especially at the cellular level, with staggering amounts of health and nutrition.
It is this dramatic increase in micronutrients that can allow the body to heal itself from all sorts of things, especially inflammation. Who knows? Maybe even hyperthyroidism.
Sandi and I are doing the fast together which makes everything 100 times easier. I am starting out with a 3 day fast with the hopes to extend it to 6 if I feel good. This would bring me up to Thanksgiving where I would need to break the fast in a slow, thoughtful manner. Since Thanksgiving is touted at the largest meal of the year, perhaps this is a blessing.
We went to the store and bought more fruits and vegetables than I have ever purchased at one time:
Was it expensive? Sure. But you know what else is? Being sick.
There are some other reasons that I want to fast. I am craving the presence and intention around eating that I have been unable to find as of late. Feeling good about what I eat has been a lifelong challenge for me. Sometimes it is easy to eat what I enjoy, feel good and like my body and other times I turn to food in times of stress and consquently struggle with my weight.
In the recent months eating has become somewhat of a push pull situation for me where I am avoiding certain foods to help me lose the erratic thyroid level induced 10 pounds I put on (I tell you a high thyroid level will make you want to eat everything not nailed to the floor), only to then find myself eating them to excess days later. I've felt a bit slaved to my own desires for non-nutritional food and was feeling sluggish and less than vital in my body. I was not enjoying food, marveling over its texture and flavor, but rather eating things before I really knew I was doing it and then feeling guilty after. I was the cliched mother finishing her children's uneaten PBJ. I no longer heard my body's saiety signals, or if I did I blatantly ignored them.
Ever have your pants be a little tight and still be hunting for something to eat an hour after supper? It's no fun.
This fast is a way for me to hit the pause button, gastrointestinal and otherwise. People have done spritual fasts for thousands of years. This is a way for me to pare down the drama I've created around food and intentionally rebuild a more functional, less guilty, more fulfilling way of eating.
Doing a fast together has been a wonderfully connecting experience for Sandi and I. We have been the proverbial ships passing in the night lately and have very little quality time together. Planning for and preparing juice (4-6 times a day) has been really enjoyable.
My favorite juice so far: ripe pears, granny smith apples, fresh mint, grapes, a whole lime (peel and all) and fresh pineapple. I almost felt like I could be drinking a pina colada. (I know, missing the point entirely.)
We also made this surprising recipe we found here. We juiced butternut squash and apples, poured it over ice and sprinkled it with cinnamon. Yum. A large part of being successful, I think, is having variety. There are lots of juice recipes to choose from out there and it has been fun to try all these different combinations. Tonight we will do a juice that is cranberries, oranges, apples, squash and greens.
I thought, I could just erase that blog post I've been working all day on. No one need know if I break the fast for refined sugar and carbohydrate. And here I stand where I have stood before, in the moment where I tell myself it doesn't really matter if I eat x, y or z, I deserve to not feel deprived and I can do better tomorrow. But guess what? It does matter. Because after enough days, weeks, months, years of waiting for tomorrow to break the habit, tomorrow never comes.
Today I am choosing my health and the intentional kind treatment of my body. When I lay my head on my pillow tonight I want to feel proud of myself, not sick and frustrated from an indulgence that takes me away from well-being.
In other words, I don't really have any business eating cheesecake until eating it or not eating it isn't that important and when a sliver will feel like enough.
And yes, I pray that with tons of internal work, that day will come.
First of all, the election has taken quite a hit on me. I feel like I am in a hole that I am trying to dig myself out of. I haven't had my usual motivation and stamina. I mostly want to sit on the couch. My heart still hurts on a daily basis. I am trying to put the pieces of life back together and it hasn't come easily. The way I have been feeling is the way I would expect to feel if we had lost the vote so this brokenness has been surprising.
Then I got a cold. And my doctor called me and told me that my thyroid levels are climbing again and I need more medication and an appointment with her next month to discuss more "permanent" solutions to this problem. The only two solutions I know about are taking radioactive iodine to knock back an overactive thyroid (the taking of which means you can't be around kids for 5 days not to mention the other ramifications of putting a radioactive substance in your body) and surgical removal of the thyroid (which makes you hypothyroid for the rest of you life).
Add to all of this that Sandi and I finally watched the documentary Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead this week and the wheels started turning.
The documentary is about this man who decides that if he doesn't make some changes to his diet he will probably die soon. At 309 pounds, grappling with a very painful autoimmune skin disease for which he takes heavy daily doses of steroids and having a diet of poor nutrition and excess, he does something radical. He goes on a 60 day juice fast. He travels all over the U.S. talking to people about their diets and their health, all the while juicing kale, apples, carrots and the like in the back of his car by a battery powered juicer.
How can you not take an immediate shine to someone who has a battery powered juicer in his trunk?
I understand the health crisis that our country is in specific to obesity. After all, that is why I was such an advocate for reducing the amount of chocolate milk being served to kids in our school. But to hear some of these interviews where people would say, "Because of my size and what I eat I will probably only live to be 50-55, but hey, at least I will die eating what I love."
This man, Joe (who closely followed medically) ends up losing 72 pounds in 60 days. He says the fast was hard but the real difficulty came when returned to healthy eating. He adopted a plant based diet and dropped 90 pounds total. He also convinces another man with the same autoimmune condition, to try a juice cleanse. At 429 pounds, Phil also does a 60 day juice cleanse followed by a diet overhaul and ends up losing 202 pounds. Both men no longer need the powerful, potentially dangerous medications they once took and they have inspired thousands of people to "reboot" their bodies through juice fasts.
After watching the documentary and witnessing the transformation of these men, I was truly inspired to see if a juice fast could help me.
The idea of the juice fast is to ingest the micronutrients found in fruits and vegetables in a highly usable, nutrition packed juice. This isn't meant to be bottled juice but fresh juice made at home from fresh fruits and vegetables. It is a fast in that it gives your body a break from digestion and cleanses the tract completely.
Think of it like resting a machine that has been running nonstop and deserves a break.
Sandi has always been into juicing. And I was years back when I did a healing diet to help cure myself from a horrendous case of uclerative colitis I developed while pregnant with Ella. I would say we are very healthy eaters who imbibe in coffee, alcohol, chocolate, etc on occasion (or daily). For us a juice fast isn't a detox from pepperoni pizza, Slim Jim's and cheese doodles. But it is an opportunity to wipe our physical slates clean. It is also a way to bombard your body, especially at the cellular level, with staggering amounts of health and nutrition.
It is this dramatic increase in micronutrients that can allow the body to heal itself from all sorts of things, especially inflammation. Who knows? Maybe even hyperthyroidism.
Sandi and I are doing the fast together which makes everything 100 times easier. I am starting out with a 3 day fast with the hopes to extend it to 6 if I feel good. This would bring me up to Thanksgiving where I would need to break the fast in a slow, thoughtful manner. Since Thanksgiving is touted at the largest meal of the year, perhaps this is a blessing.
We went to the store and bought more fruits and vegetables than I have ever purchased at one time:
 |
| (not shown: about 20 more pounds of carrots, melons, a pineapple and several more bags of apples and tangerines.) |
There are some other reasons that I want to fast. I am craving the presence and intention around eating that I have been unable to find as of late. Feeling good about what I eat has been a lifelong challenge for me. Sometimes it is easy to eat what I enjoy, feel good and like my body and other times I turn to food in times of stress and consquently struggle with my weight.
In the recent months eating has become somewhat of a push pull situation for me where I am avoiding certain foods to help me lose the erratic thyroid level induced 10 pounds I put on (I tell you a high thyroid level will make you want to eat everything not nailed to the floor), only to then find myself eating them to excess days later. I've felt a bit slaved to my own desires for non-nutritional food and was feeling sluggish and less than vital in my body. I was not enjoying food, marveling over its texture and flavor, but rather eating things before I really knew I was doing it and then feeling guilty after. I was the cliched mother finishing her children's uneaten PBJ. I no longer heard my body's saiety signals, or if I did I blatantly ignored them.
Ever have your pants be a little tight and still be hunting for something to eat an hour after supper? It's no fun.
This fast is a way for me to hit the pause button, gastrointestinal and otherwise. People have done spritual fasts for thousands of years. This is a way for me to pare down the drama I've created around food and intentionally rebuild a more functional, less guilty, more fulfilling way of eating.
Doing a fast together has been a wonderfully connecting experience for Sandi and I. We have been the proverbial ships passing in the night lately and have very little quality time together. Planning for and preparing juice (4-6 times a day) has been really enjoyable.
My favorite juice so far: ripe pears, granny smith apples, fresh mint, grapes, a whole lime (peel and all) and fresh pineapple. I almost felt like I could be drinking a pina colada. (I know, missing the point entirely.)
I'm more than halfway done with day two as of right now. Mostly I have been in the groove and happy to be doing it. I have definitely seen the patterns of when I reach for food. Yes I am legitamately hunger some of the time (but not starving), but other times things are crazy and one child or the other is crying and I want to find peace in a bag of chocolate chips. I think (hope) breakthroughs happen when you want to do that but don't.
Yet...today is Ella's birthday and the house is full of Smartfood popcorn, homemade pizza and cheesecake (her favorites). Making cheesecake while fasting is a tiny bit cruel. So will it be when there is pizza crust left over tonight (my favorite). I had a particularly low moment while I was dolling out snacks where I thought, maybe this has been long enough.... But the good thing is that I have enough wisdom to know that if you want to break a fast early for dessert, you're probably not rehabilitated.
I thought, I could just erase that blog post I've been working all day on. No one need know if I break the fast for refined sugar and carbohydrate. And here I stand where I have stood before, in the moment where I tell myself it doesn't really matter if I eat x, y or z, I deserve to not feel deprived and I can do better tomorrow. But guess what? It does matter. Because after enough days, weeks, months, years of waiting for tomorrow to break the habit, tomorrow never comes.
Today I am choosing my health and the intentional kind treatment of my body. When I lay my head on my pillow tonight I want to feel proud of myself, not sick and frustrated from an indulgence that takes me away from well-being.
In other words, I don't really have any business eating cheesecake until eating it or not eating it isn't that important and when a sliver will feel like enough.
And yes, I pray that with tons of internal work, that day will come.
Sunday, March 4, 2012
cfc muscles
In an attempt to become less black and white and less all or nothing, I practiced an unprecedented act of moderation as I wrapped up the clean food challenge.
Yesterday was a road trip to watch Sandi's hometown win basketball gold- in the form on the coveted gold ball a team gets for winning the state championship. The day started with a big bowl of oatmeal and spin class. By 10:30 I was starving from my toes and ate the leftover tempeh and grilled veggies with pesto. Eight of us packed into the Carver's Yukon and drove the hour to Augusta to watch the game.
We stopped at Panera Bread for lunch and truthfully I was a bit scared to eat out on the CFC. Having eaten 90 minutes ago, I decided to just eat the food I had packed. During the afternoon I made my way through my dried fruit, nuts, pear, apple, banana and water.
I started to sweat it a little when the decision was made to go out to eat for supper. I chose fish, salad and baked potato, deciding with just hours to go I would allow myself some salad dressing, croutons and sour cream. There was a surprising amount of internal back and forth about ending the cleanse on the supper of the seventh night. Could I really do that? Would I allow myself to do that?
Awareness came over me. My goals on the cfc were to reset, to feel clean and to cultivate mindfulness. If mindfulness is achieved then I also have the responsibility to listen to what happens in the quiet spaces. the truth was I was done. I had fulfilled the cleanse and my goals and there was no need to do an extra day. In actuality the want for the 8th day was just to delay the bumpy reentry to regular food. And if I felt uncertain about my ability to be moderate with everyday food when the cleanse ended then what had I really gotten from the cleanse?
You get it? It's a little messed up but it turns out I like food rules more than I'm comfortable admitting. And that, while guidelines are infinitely helpful to me, rigid rules have a tendency to backfire. I expect such strict adherence from myself that eventually I feel caged in and I revolt.
I decided to take two steps away from the rules. I came home and made a cup of tea and had one of Sandi's grandmother's homemade molasses cookies. I didn't eat it standing up or breaking off piece by piece, hoping the pieces didn't add up to a whole. I sat down and ate it off a plate and enjoyed every bite.
I gave myself the kindness I would to a friend. You did a great job. You did enough. It doesn't have to perfect.
This for me is progress. This is moderation. This is me existing somewhere between ALL or NOTHING.
I'm finding there to be a fine line between self-disciplined and downright inflexible. Last night's cookie wasn't me cheating. I don't even know how to cheat. I am the girl who has never hits snooze, who has to run the exact miles listed on her training plan, who doesn't know how to cut a corner and is normally way too attached to an idea to do a seven day cleanse for six and 3/4 days.
So I'm proud of myself for eating a cookie? Is that what I'm saying? I guess it is.
On the cookie thread, I want to brag for a moment and flex my CFC muscles. This past week we had a snow day and I always bake with the kids on snowdays.
People, I made chocolate chip cookies and I didn't eat a single morsel.
Maya, my ever present culinary assistant:
I adapted this recipe from one Ange found on the Chobani yogurt website.
Chocolate Chip Cookies (made with greek yogurt)
Makes about 2 dozen large cookies
• 1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, softened
• 6 oz. greek yogurt
• 1 cup light brown sugar
• 1/2 cup granulated sugar
• 2 large eggs
• 1 tsp. baking soda
• 1 tsp. sea salt
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 1 c. white whole wheat flour
1 1/2 cups whole wheat flour
• ½ cup oats, ground
• 1 1/2 cups chocolate chips
In a large mixing bowl, beat butter, yogurt, and sugars with electric mixer until creamy. Add eggs, one at a time, and continue to beat until smooth. Add baking soda and sea salt; mix until combined. Gradually add flours, alternating between the two, and beat until mixed well. Fold in chocolate; mix well.
Cook at 375 for 13-15 min.
I am happy to report that my first morning off the CFC has gone very well. I have enjoyed two glorious cups of Tazo tea and I don't feel the need to make up for lost food. I feel content and centered and I am certain this has to do with listening to my needs and responding in kind, rather than with rigid parameters of self-control. Somehow, I feel like I just got the true spirit of the clean food cleanse. It is more about how I eat rather than what I eat.
Yesterday was a road trip to watch Sandi's hometown win basketball gold- in the form on the coveted gold ball a team gets for winning the state championship. The day started with a big bowl of oatmeal and spin class. By 10:30 I was starving from my toes and ate the leftover tempeh and grilled veggies with pesto. Eight of us packed into the Carver's Yukon and drove the hour to Augusta to watch the game.
We stopped at Panera Bread for lunch and truthfully I was a bit scared to eat out on the CFC. Having eaten 90 minutes ago, I decided to just eat the food I had packed. During the afternoon I made my way through my dried fruit, nuts, pear, apple, banana and water.
I started to sweat it a little when the decision was made to go out to eat for supper. I chose fish, salad and baked potato, deciding with just hours to go I would allow myself some salad dressing, croutons and sour cream. There was a surprising amount of internal back and forth about ending the cleanse on the supper of the seventh night. Could I really do that? Would I allow myself to do that?
Awareness came over me. My goals on the cfc were to reset, to feel clean and to cultivate mindfulness. If mindfulness is achieved then I also have the responsibility to listen to what happens in the quiet spaces. the truth was I was done. I had fulfilled the cleanse and my goals and there was no need to do an extra day. In actuality the want for the 8th day was just to delay the bumpy reentry to regular food. And if I felt uncertain about my ability to be moderate with everyday food when the cleanse ended then what had I really gotten from the cleanse?
You get it? It's a little messed up but it turns out I like food rules more than I'm comfortable admitting. And that, while guidelines are infinitely helpful to me, rigid rules have a tendency to backfire. I expect such strict adherence from myself that eventually I feel caged in and I revolt.
I decided to take two steps away from the rules. I came home and made a cup of tea and had one of Sandi's grandmother's homemade molasses cookies. I didn't eat it standing up or breaking off piece by piece, hoping the pieces didn't add up to a whole. I sat down and ate it off a plate and enjoyed every bite.
I gave myself the kindness I would to a friend. You did a great job. You did enough. It doesn't have to perfect.
This for me is progress. This is moderation. This is me existing somewhere between ALL or NOTHING.
I'm finding there to be a fine line between self-disciplined and downright inflexible. Last night's cookie wasn't me cheating. I don't even know how to cheat. I am the girl who has never hits snooze, who has to run the exact miles listed on her training plan, who doesn't know how to cut a corner and is normally way too attached to an idea to do a seven day cleanse for six and 3/4 days.
So I'm proud of myself for eating a cookie? Is that what I'm saying? I guess it is.
On the cookie thread, I want to brag for a moment and flex my CFC muscles. This past week we had a snow day and I always bake with the kids on snowdays.
People, I made chocolate chip cookies and I didn't eat a single morsel.
Maya, my ever present culinary assistant:
I adapted this recipe from one Ange found on the Chobani yogurt website.
Chocolate Chip Cookies (made with greek yogurt)
Makes about 2 dozen large cookies
• 1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, softened
• 6 oz. greek yogurt
• 1 cup light brown sugar
• 1/2 cup granulated sugar
• 2 large eggs
• 1 tsp. baking soda
• 1 tsp. sea salt
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 1 c. white whole wheat flour
1 1/2 cups whole wheat flour
• ½ cup oats, ground
• 1 1/2 cups chocolate chips
In a large mixing bowl, beat butter, yogurt, and sugars with electric mixer until creamy. Add eggs, one at a time, and continue to beat until smooth. Add baking soda and sea salt; mix until combined. Gradually add flours, alternating between the two, and beat until mixed well. Fold in chocolate; mix well.
Cook at 375 for 13-15 min.
I am happy to report that my first morning off the CFC has gone very well. I have enjoyed two glorious cups of Tazo tea and I don't feel the need to make up for lost food. I feel content and centered and I am certain this has to do with listening to my needs and responding in kind, rather than with rigid parameters of self-control. Somehow, I feel like I just got the true spirit of the clean food cleanse. It is more about how I eat rather than what I eat.
Saturday, March 3, 2012
cfc home stretch
I have a few resounding thoughts starting day 7 of the clean food challenge.
First, I am incredibly lucky to be able to afford these amazing, nutrition packed foods.
I mean, for crying out loud, I ate an entire papaya by myself the other day. It peachy flesh was so gorgeous and sweet I couldn't believe the level of privlege I have. Especially since Ella asked to see pictures of starving people the night before last and the images have been resounding in my head.
My second thought (you could all see this coming right?) was: this ends tomorrow already? maybe I will do this for another couple of days....
It turns out starting a cleanse isn't so hard for me. It's ending it that makes me shake in my shoes.
I know, I know. The solution is eat well with just occasional treats. No need to be all or nothing.
The problem is I AM all or nothing. I don't mean to be. I apologize profusely for it. But it is just how I am wired. Yes, there are things I can do to work with it and I put in a lot of effort in that direction, but at this stage of the game I get nervous that on the morning of day 8 I will drink a pot of coffee, eat an entire cake and maybe even have a cigarette all before 9 a.m.
Mindfulness, that is what I am cultivating. Not the right to sit at Starbucks and order everything off the menu until my hands shake so badly I can't write my own name.
But, back to the amazing food at hand. Sandi has been juicing daily which is great for me because I'm not sure I'd put in the effort required to clean the juicer.
Carrots, apples, cucumber and orange juice:
Last night for dinner I marinated tempeh in tamari, molasses and rice vinegar and then sauteed it in olive oil. (There is a chance molasses and tamari aren't super clean and I don't really care. It's not a box of Oreos we're talking about) . I also roasted sweet potatoes, carrots, zucchini, red onion and peppers and tossed the veggies with this amazing pesto idea I got from Emilie (toasted walnuts, cilantro, parsley, lemon zest, fresh garlic and olive oil pureed in a food processor.)
Thursday, March 1, 2012
cfc: trucking through days 3 and 4
It turns out I can live without cake.
It's coffee that I seriously, achingly miss.
Today I was volunteering in Ella's first grade class room and the ed tech sitting next to me had a fresh coffee- some sort of English toffee deliciousness. I feared I might wrestle her to the floor for it.
All in all though I am doing well, eating well and proud to be taking such impeccable care of my body which does kind of a lot for me on a daily basis.
Here's some of what I've been eating and some recipes too!
CFC lunch: tangy basmati rice and Emilie's carrot miso soup.
(I humbly apologize I do not know the source of most of these recipes. They have been collected through the cfc network Emilie has created and some I've collected over time.)
Tangy Basmati Rice
1 cup basmati rice (I use brown)
1 3/4 cups water
1 Tbsp oil or ghee
1 tsp mustard seeds
1/2 tsp turmeric
1/2 tsp crushed coriander seeds
3 Tbsp grated coconut
1/4 cup chopped almonds or raw cashews
3 Tbsp lemon juice
1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro
In a small pan, heat up oil and add mustard seeds, turmeric, coriander seeds and nuts. When
seeds begin to pop, add coconut and stir well to toast and blend spices. Set aside until rice is
ready, at which point stir into rice with lemon juice and chopped cilantro.
Carrot Soup with Miso and Sesame:
(given to me by Emilie and absolutely delicious)
Soup
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 pounds carrots, peeled, thinly sliced
1 large onion, finely chopped
4 regular or 6 small garlic cloves, peeled and smashed
1 tablespoon finely chopped or grated ginger, or more to taste (it could easily be doubled)
4 cups vegetable broth
1/4 cup white miso paste, or more to taste
To finish
Drizzle of toasted sesame oil
2 scallions, very thinly sliced
Heat oil in heavy large saucepan over medium heat. Add carrots, onion and garlic sauté until onion is translucent, about 10 minutes. Add broth and ginger. Cover and simmer until carrots are tender when pierced, stirring occasionally, about 30 minutes.
Puree soup in batches in blender, or all at once with an immersion blender. In a small bowl, whisk together the miso an a half-cup of the soup. Stir the mixture back into the pot of soup. Taste the soup and season with salt, pepper or additional miso to taste.
Ladle into bowls and garnish each with a drizzle of sesame oil and small mound of scallions.
I also made a giant batch of this quinoa edamame salad.
Recipe adapted from Thermador Kitchens by Our Best Bites
1 c. black quinoa (if you can find it–try the bins at Whole Foods. But really, any type of quinoa will work)
2 c. water
1/2 c. rice wine vinegar
6 TBSP olive oil
1/3 c. chopped fresh cilantro
2 limes, juiced
1 T. honey
3/4 tsp. salt (plus more to taste, if desired)
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 lbs. frozen, shelled edamame (green soybeans)
4 green onions, thinly sliced
½ c. chopped peanuts (optional)
Cook quinoa (click here to find out how!) While the quinoa is cooking, whisk together the vinegar, oil, lime juice, honey, salt, cilantro, and garlic. Allow it to stand while you prepare the rest of the salad.
For the edamame, you have a few options. You can steam it in a steamer or the microwave until the desired doneness is reached, you can rinse the beans under some hot water for about a minute or two, or you can briefly rinse the beans and then toss them with the hot quinoa when it is done cooking–it just depends on how done you prefer your edamame. Whichever option you choose, you’ll toss the beans with the green onions and the cooked quinoa. Toss with the dressing and then season to taste. Garnish with fresh peanuts and enjoy! Makes a lot–like 18-20 small servings.
I've really been loving the freedom to eat nuts. Another version of morning oatmeal: oats and amaranth cooked with a banana, coconut and a spoonful of peanut butter. YUM.
For some reason I thought it would be a good reason to try to make a bunch of food before getting the kids off to school this morning. I crave variety and when you are limiting your food families, it's cfc suicide to get bored with what you are eating. Plus when you make big batches of nutritionally packed, super clean foods, you want to share it with your friends who just had two babies at the same time or the ones who drop food at your house randomly so you can be spared the chore of making dinner.
The makings for mango quinoa salad:
(if this cfc week had a theme it would have to be quinoa)
Salad Ingredients:
• 1 cup quinoa
• 2 cups cold water
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 1 ripe mango, peeled and chopped
• OR: 1/2 cup dried mango slices, soaked overnight, then cut in 1/2 inch dice
• 1/4 cup blanched slivered or sliced almonds
• 2 Tbsp roasted pumpkin seeds
• 1 medium cucumber, peeled and diced
Dressing Ingredients:
• 2 Tbsp olive oil
• 1/4 tsp turmeric
• Juice of 1 lime
• 2 Tbsp chopped fresh cilantro
• Salt and freshly ground black pepper
Directions
1. Wash quinoa and boil in water for 10 minutes
2. Cover and let quinoa sit until it absorbs all the water
3. Fluff quinoa with a fork and let it cool to room temperature
4. Peel the mango and cut into cubes
5. Peel and slice the cucumber thinly
6. Add cucumber to mango along with the almonds and pumpkin seeds
7. Heat 1 tsp oil in a small pan and fry with turmeric for 30 seconds, then let it cool
8. Add the lime juice
9. Mix in olive oil, cilantro, salt and pepper with a whisk or a fork
10. Add the cooled quinoa to the mango mixture, pour the dressing over the salad, and toss
11. Serve immediately, or cover and chill
And lastly, I made a lentil nut loaf:
Lentil Nut Loaf (or patties):
2 c. cooked lentils
1/2 c. chopped nuts or seeds
1 onion quartered
1 1/2 tsp salt
1 1/2 c. rolled oats
1/3 c. water
1/2 tsp. coriander
Blend oats until fine. Empty into mixing bowl with nuts. Blend smooth the rest of the ingredients then mix with oats and nuts. Let mixture sit for 10 minutes then place in a greased loaf pan. Bake 50 minutes at 350 degrees. (For patties bake for 30 minutes, then flip and bake for an additional 10.)
Lunch yesterday was all compliments of Emilie: black bean burger with avocado and tomato and a bowl of pureed squash with maple syrup.
Perhaps the best part of my week so far was being granted a kitchen secret that might revolutionize my culinary life. All mason jars are universal fits to blender bottoms. You can make salad dressing right in the jar you want to store it in. Or smoothies for the road. Or ice coffee....but I digress.
Lastly for supper last night was salad with tahini balsalmic dressing and warm roasted sweet potatoes.
I actually feel a bit like I'm eating for a queen.
Anyone else want to report in on how it is going this week?
It's coffee that I seriously, achingly miss.
Today I was volunteering in Ella's first grade class room and the ed tech sitting next to me had a fresh coffee- some sort of English toffee deliciousness. I feared I might wrestle her to the floor for it.
All in all though I am doing well, eating well and proud to be taking such impeccable care of my body which does kind of a lot for me on a daily basis.
Here's some of what I've been eating and some recipes too!
CFC lunch: tangy basmati rice and Emilie's carrot miso soup.
(I humbly apologize I do not know the source of most of these recipes. They have been collected through the cfc network Emilie has created and some I've collected over time.)
Tangy Basmati Rice
1 cup basmati rice (I use brown)
1 3/4 cups water
1 Tbsp oil or ghee
1 tsp mustard seeds
1/2 tsp turmeric
1/2 tsp crushed coriander seeds
3 Tbsp grated coconut
1/4 cup chopped almonds or raw cashews
3 Tbsp lemon juice
1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro
In a small pan, heat up oil and add mustard seeds, turmeric, coriander seeds and nuts. When
seeds begin to pop, add coconut and stir well to toast and blend spices. Set aside until rice is
ready, at which point stir into rice with lemon juice and chopped cilantro.
Carrot Soup with Miso and Sesame:
(given to me by Emilie and absolutely delicious)
Soup
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 pounds carrots, peeled, thinly sliced
1 large onion, finely chopped
4 regular or 6 small garlic cloves, peeled and smashed
1 tablespoon finely chopped or grated ginger, or more to taste (it could easily be doubled)
4 cups vegetable broth
1/4 cup white miso paste, or more to taste
To finish
Drizzle of toasted sesame oil
2 scallions, very thinly sliced
Heat oil in heavy large saucepan over medium heat. Add carrots, onion and garlic sauté until onion is translucent, about 10 minutes. Add broth and ginger. Cover and simmer until carrots are tender when pierced, stirring occasionally, about 30 minutes.
Puree soup in batches in blender, or all at once with an immersion blender. In a small bowl, whisk together the miso an a half-cup of the soup. Stir the mixture back into the pot of soup. Taste the soup and season with salt, pepper or additional miso to taste.
Ladle into bowls and garnish each with a drizzle of sesame oil and small mound of scallions.
I also made a giant batch of this quinoa edamame salad.
Quinoa Edamame Salad
Recipe adapted from Thermador Kitchens by Our Best Bites
1 c. black quinoa (if you can find it–try the bins at Whole Foods. But really, any type of quinoa will work)
2 c. water
1/2 c. rice wine vinegar
6 TBSP olive oil
1/3 c. chopped fresh cilantro
2 limes, juiced
1 T. honey
3/4 tsp. salt (plus more to taste, if desired)
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 lbs. frozen, shelled edamame (green soybeans)
4 green onions, thinly sliced
½ c. chopped peanuts (optional)
Cook quinoa (click here to find out how!) While the quinoa is cooking, whisk together the vinegar, oil, lime juice, honey, salt, cilantro, and garlic. Allow it to stand while you prepare the rest of the salad.
For the edamame, you have a few options. You can steam it in a steamer or the microwave until the desired doneness is reached, you can rinse the beans under some hot water for about a minute or two, or you can briefly rinse the beans and then toss them with the hot quinoa when it is done cooking–it just depends on how done you prefer your edamame. Whichever option you choose, you’ll toss the beans with the green onions and the cooked quinoa. Toss with the dressing and then season to taste. Garnish with fresh peanuts and enjoy! Makes a lot–like 18-20 small servings.
I've really been loving the freedom to eat nuts. Another version of morning oatmeal: oats and amaranth cooked with a banana, coconut and a spoonful of peanut butter. YUM.
For some reason I thought it would be a good reason to try to make a bunch of food before getting the kids off to school this morning. I crave variety and when you are limiting your food families, it's cfc suicide to get bored with what you are eating. Plus when you make big batches of nutritionally packed, super clean foods, you want to share it with your friends who just had two babies at the same time or the ones who drop food at your house randomly so you can be spared the chore of making dinner.
The makings for mango quinoa salad:
(if this cfc week had a theme it would have to be quinoa)
• 1 cup quinoa
• 2 cups cold water
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 1 ripe mango, peeled and chopped
• OR: 1/2 cup dried mango slices, soaked overnight, then cut in 1/2 inch dice
• 1/4 cup blanched slivered or sliced almonds
• 2 Tbsp roasted pumpkin seeds
• 1 medium cucumber, peeled and diced
Dressing Ingredients:
• 2 Tbsp olive oil
• 1/4 tsp turmeric
• Juice of 1 lime
• 2 Tbsp chopped fresh cilantro
• Salt and freshly ground black pepper
Directions
1. Wash quinoa and boil in water for 10 minutes
2. Cover and let quinoa sit until it absorbs all the water
3. Fluff quinoa with a fork and let it cool to room temperature
4. Peel the mango and cut into cubes
5. Peel and slice the cucumber thinly
6. Add cucumber to mango along with the almonds and pumpkin seeds
7. Heat 1 tsp oil in a small pan and fry with turmeric for 30 seconds, then let it cool
8. Add the lime juice
9. Mix in olive oil, cilantro, salt and pepper with a whisk or a fork
10. Add the cooled quinoa to the mango mixture, pour the dressing over the salad, and toss
11. Serve immediately, or cover and chill
And lastly, I made a lentil nut loaf:
Lentil Nut Loaf (or patties):
2 c. cooked lentils
1/2 c. chopped nuts or seeds
1 onion quartered
1 1/2 tsp salt
1 1/2 c. rolled oats
1/3 c. water
1/2 tsp. coriander
Blend oats until fine. Empty into mixing bowl with nuts. Blend smooth the rest of the ingredients then mix with oats and nuts. Let mixture sit for 10 minutes then place in a greased loaf pan. Bake 50 minutes at 350 degrees. (For patties bake for 30 minutes, then flip and bake for an additional 10.)
Lunch yesterday was all compliments of Emilie: black bean burger with avocado and tomato and a bowl of pureed squash with maple syrup.
Perhaps the best part of my week so far was being granted a kitchen secret that might revolutionize my culinary life. All mason jars are universal fits to blender bottoms. You can make salad dressing right in the jar you want to store it in. Or smoothies for the road. Or ice coffee....but I digress.
Anyone else want to report in on how it is going this week?
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