summer, last call

We had a pretty spectacular end to summer. As it wrapped up, and we followed our well-grooved path, I realized how many traditions we have incorporated into the rhythm of transitioning from the end of summer to the start of school.

(Here comes a trip down memory lane.)

First up, drop uncomfortable amounts of money on school shopping. Assist one child who wears only athletic pants, t-shirts and hoodies and is done within an hour and then drag her around like a punishment with her fashionista sister who has grown so much in the past six months that she needs new EVERYTHING. Go to every single store in a 20-mile radius over two days, cursing the parents whose kids are satisfied with online shopping, and entertain ideas of awards they should give out to parents who survive the ordeal and the cocktail parties thrown in their favor.

There are no photos. No one (me) has the time or energy or humor for photos.

Next stop, the Folk Festival.

Folk Festival 2014

The music was so good, Maya and Sandi broke out in spontaneous dance.

Ella (and I) waited through a full musical set for her annual henna tattoo.



 



Family favorite: popcorn as big as Maya.

2017

Giant popcorn sleeve 2014

   

Folk Festival 2012

Somewhat accidentally, it has become a tradition for us to spend one of the very last days of summer at Branch Lake with some or all of the Smiths, jumping off big rocks into crystal clear water. And every year the kids perform some sort of version of Happy Birthday for me (they started it years ago and now I insist on it).

This is the grand finale, reminiscent of Charlie's Angels.

2016

Then before you know it, you are packing lunches and your 7th grader is setting an alarm to get up a solid 4 hours earlier than she has most of the summer so she can straighten her hair and your 4th grader is trying to decide if the Nike Pros she has lived in all summer violate the dress code (they do).

It was fun to take our first day of school pictures on our front porch!

2016

Every year I get a picture of the girls together. This year Maya's hair looked like a flock of birds has roosted for the night and had yet to be evicted with a brush. She looked at me like no way are you taking my picture.

But being a mom, by definition means you have moves. Some call them manipulations. I prefer the term motivation. "Well, you girls could at least give each other a hug before Ella leaves..." And boom: there's my photo.

First day of school 2013

First day of school 2014

2015

Piper was all like, "WAIT. What?"

2016

We moved into the house two days after school got out and spent a whirlwind couple of weeks unpacking, mounting, installing and establishing residency at our local Home Depot and Lowe's.  Then Sandi went back to work, summer hit like a bomb and everything got tabled.

I spent the first days with the kids in school trying to catch up our lives, a typical early September activity: tame the umpteen piles of laundry, unpack from two weeks at camp, return unanswered phone calls, go through an irresponsible amount of unattended to mail, organize the fall schedule and get back to a normal work routine writing and massaging. 

But more than anything, I relished the time to bond with my house. To organize and figure out systems for how we function in the space, to purchase the things we still needed and to reclaim the spaces that had been taken over with boxes and unpacked things. To be alone in the empty quiet of the beautiful space, productive and accomplished, once again.

And then it's time for vibrancy and volume to fill the house once again. Piper has a new found love for the hissing air-break of the school bus. The kids take the bus both ways to school this year! I love that yellow rectangle.

First day of school afternoon ice cream party. Another tradition. This is what it looked like last year:

And this year.

Labor Day, the true last call it seems, brought the girls and I back to the beach with my family (Sandi typically works Labor Day). While September will have some warm, even hot, days, there won't be too many more that will drive kids into the freezing Atlantic.

First the kids decided they needed to construct a raft on which to send Maya across the narrow inlet to the other shore. I let them work on it for a while before I informed them that she would not be riding on such a vessel.

When they realized that no amount of begging would allow them to send Maya out to sea, they begged to strip down and swim (neither mother brought swim suits since it wasn't supposed to be over 70 degrees). We granted them this request and they used their "raft" (known in some circles as a log) and motored across.

This is what happens when your almost 13 yo steals your phone.

My sister, my mom and I

Two years ago my mom and her grandkids:

2015

And this year, the four grandkids blue one grand-dog who sat so eagerly for this photo.

Add caption

Happy autumn everyone! It's time for warm blankets at field hockey games, a fire in the fireplace, fleece, soups and chilly mornings.

 And here's a wish for presence...because life is going way too fast.

Folk Festival 2012

2014

Today. xoxoxo

The tiny box that holds the future

There are so many things I could say about this historical presidential election but most of them I will keep to myself. 

I will save the quips and links to the hilarious Saturday Night Live spoofs. I will try hard not to step up on my soapbox.

But there are some things that deserve a place, a space. 

When I grew up, it was laughable when girls, posed with the question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" responded with, "I want to be President."  Adults patted them condescendingly on the shoulder and all but said, "That's nice, Dear."

For the generation that came after me, it was less a joke and more a possibility. For the current generation, it is an inevitability. 

Our girls got to see the first black president ever elected, though we had to explain over and over why that was such a big deal. These same girls who when we talked about slavery would sit with their chins on the floor in disbelief. What we were saying was so outrageous we MUST be confabulating it. 

These same girls who went through three different political campaigns before their mothers had the right to marry each other. "Why would people vote against this? Why don't they want you to get  married?" they would ask. "We don't understand." That is because hatred and exclusion are not born in a child's heart. They are taught.

For them a female running for president is not such a big deal. I mean, of course, why WOULDN'T a woman run for president?

It really is cool with me if you are not a fan of Hillary Clinton. I get that she has made some mistakes and she rubs some people the wrong way politically, but she is the first, the first, woman to ever run for president. And in so doing she has shouldered more hatred and insult than probably any other candidate in history, not simply because of her opinions on policy, social issues or the national debt, but because she is a woman. 

That is the epitome of injustice. 

I have been a voter for 22 years now. I have heard many candidates be insulted. But never, ever have I heard the level of vulgarity of this election, specifically vulgarity aimed at woman. I have never before seen lawn signs and t-shirts with the level of crudeness of those that say, "Hillary for Prison" and "Lock her up." I've never heard a candidate refer to women in such derogatory terms (not just Clinton but women in general). Never, ever did I think I would see bumper stickers that would call a candidate a bitch. When I drive down the road and see "Trump that bitch" on the back of a car I think how is this election NOT about gender?

Has there ever been a male candidate referred to in such defamatory terms? People might call a male politician an ass or a womanizer. They might call him mistrustful, cagey or even incompetent. But never have we had stickers and shirts using profanity toward a male candidate. 

I saw a post on Facebook (written by a man) that said something to this effect:

If you think this presidential race has nothing to do with gender, answer this: if Hillary Clinton had five children with three different men would she even be remotely considered as a presidential candidate?

The double standards abound. The qualities often criticized in Clinton- tenacity, ambition, arrogance, intelligence, power, influence, determined and unapologetic pursuit of goals- are heralded in male candidates. These are the qualities generally thought of as "presidential" even. Apparently these qualities still, in 2016, aren't so becoming on a woman, even if she is running for President of the United States of America.

I would like to poll the general Hillary haters and ask them what their ideal female candidate would look like? Would the answer be a kinder, softer woman, maybe one who bakes cookies for her staff, who is deferential to her husband and those in power around her, who is less bossy and less driven? Of course not. No one would vote to elect that sort of woman president. 

Perhaps the more honest answer for some people is that there is no ideal female candidate because they think a woman simply shouldn't be president. 

Tell that to them:

The box is so tiny. The implications so enormous.

I'm not saying you should vote for Clinton just because she is woman. But don't not vote for her just because she's a woman. 

I fall asleep at night thinking of these same words, "Madame President" and I dream of a world with less hate and more possibility. One where our girls can see an endless parade of strong women before them, women who ignite in them a knowing that they can do and be almost anything they want. 

(Except an Olympic gymnast. I think the ship has sailed on that one. You have to sort of be exceptional by age 5 or 6 to travel that road. I guess the same goes for being a child prodigy. But mostly anything else.)

On getting a puppy...finally.

The girls have been wanting a dog for what feels like forever. Or I guess it has been 4 or so years. In the world of begging that is an eternity. 

Sandi and I had three dogs at one point, before kids, and as kids took over the majority of our time and energy we did not replace dogs as we lost them. The last dog passed away while Sandi was in anesthesia school and I was very clear that I could not have something else to take care of during that time.

It turns out I wouldn't be ready for another few years. Anesthesia school was a little brutal all the way around.

I was clearly the hold out in my family about a dog. I credit my overall intelligence. I knew to whom the primary responsibility would fall. After having surrogate care of Jaxie, our niece dog, for a couple of months, I could tell I was finally ready. I only wanted a dog when I knew its presence would be joyful and not just another cloying item on my to-do list.

So suddenly (or very, very slowly), it was time.  This was one of my top 3 favorite surprises ever.

We went to meet our puppy when she was only 3 weeks old and the girls had to wait an excruciating 5 more weeks until she could come home.

The girls bought all of the supplies for our puppy. Shopping for these supplies was never dull.

We picked Piper up on the last few days of our vacation at camp.

To say she has become an instant and inextricable part of our family would be an understatement. Here she is posing for first day of school pictures.

 Piper sort of goes everywhere with us. Turns out people love puppies and the smiles that multiply when you bring your puppy around makes you feel like you are in charge of the sun.

watching field hockey

her new friend Greta, the great dane

Obviously, the girls are in love.

We get quite a kick out of the places and ways Piper falls asleep.

while designing a kitchen for the new house

 She is growing so fast, as only a puppy can. And though it is true that she isn't left alone a lot and we make sure she gets plenty of play and exercise, she isn't the crazy chocolate lab people cautioned us about. She has the most loving disposition and easy nature. She is also very trainable (and it turns out so am I) and puppy obedience has gone a long way to reduce frustration on everyone's part.

learning to beg from her cousin Jaxie

I'm so glad I knew to wait until I was ready to get a dog, especially a puppy. I am totally smitten with this little brown ball of joy. And because she and I spend practically every waking minute together, she has become somewhat of my baby. 

First hike...

...followed by a very wakeful ride home.

Truly, the world sparkles a little bit brighter since she came along. And in case you are wondering, the answer is yes, Maya is already begging for ANOTHER dog.