help me now

Maya gave me her first thumbs up the other day. As in response to something I did that she approved of. Thumbs up.

Sandi decided it would be a good idea to make chocolate chip cookie dough batter last week before we went to Burlington for our weekend. Not to make cookies, mind you. Just to eat some of the dough and put the rest in the freezer. It mattered not that I had just finished off the other batch of frozen cookie dough and certainly didn't need it to be replaced. See, once it goes into the freezer, its like it enters my jurisdiction and it becomes my responsibility to consume (or so it seems.) And I wonder, why do you do this to me, my love? Especially since I then went to Burlington and the only place we went twice was Lake Champlain Chocolates, both the retail and the factory store. Yes, I (and my dear friend Ange) are THOSE people looking for discounts on truffles.

Ella noted that it was getting late in the day since "the sun is on top of the trees." Then she asked "Momma, do you like the sun?" I answered affirmatively. "Why? It's just a big chunk of fire."

The other day Ella was throwing an angry fit in response to a consequence I gave her. She stood in the living room and yelled, "I'm being treated like an animal!"

We were driving down the road, a tad bit late, and from the back seat I hear, "Are you driving too fast?" This level of spying and accountability might just be too much for me. It's right up there with, "What are you eating?" when I try to pop a tootsie roll so I don't pass out from hypoglycemia.

Today, while I tried to make a pot of lentil soup (to counteract the bulk quantity of chocolate consumed at Lake Champlain Chocolates free sample counter- shoot me now) Maya managed to take 5 tubes of Chapstick and advance them to their highest setting and smear them all over the house, disassemble the art easel (by the screws!) and wrap the cord from the kitchen window blinds around her neck. All before the soup was even cooking. I'll admit it. I was wishing for a cage.

Ella protests the daycare at the gym (opposed to Maya who thinks, poor girl, that is it her "school" and carries a backpack in now.) Ella accused me, "You go to the gym almost everyday!" Umm... I thought this was a good thing for my sanity as well as my cardiovascular health...not to mention I AM training to run 26. 2 freaking miles, Ms. sweat-phobic daughter of mine.

Maya tucked her well-worn blue security blanket around Coconut the cat when he was laying on the floor, covering most of his head and impinging his oxygen flow. "There you go," she said and patted him with a loving, albeit heavy, hand.

Ella decided that one particular bag would be good to carry snacks in for car travel. "But we don't carry snacks anymore, " she commented sadly, "Just bananas." Followed, in a woe-is-me sort of voice, "Most people carry snacks." (Author's note: the girls now eat broiled Haddock, scrambled eggs, steamed carrots and they wild for whole wheat pasta with steamed veggies and tomato sauce. Will wonders ever cease?)

There was a Wii fit being advertised on TV. Ella: "Momma, you should get that. When you are all done, you are ex-er-CISED!"

Today she gave me a hug and told me I smelled like my blood sugar. Just what does a blood sugar smell like anyway? And should I be self-conscious?

Ella told me tonight, "Did you know that bears like to eat chocolate covered ants?" Actually, no I did not.

This is only a few of the 100 things that make up my day in day out life. I haven't even confided the thoughts that run rampant in my head, like, do some people really not have a library card? or why does food taste so much better when other people make it? or how many cups of tea is too many cups of tea in one day? (and if you have to ask the question then isn't already too many?) or Is it sad to get excited that your friend is going to bring over HOMEMADE granola bars? or What does it say about me as a mother/partner/person that I pick the gym over the grocery store? (I mean, I stopped to get milk so we wouldn't run out!) or how can I miss my kids and ache to hug them and then have their noise and needs and mess make me want to pull my hair out within 10 minutes of their presence?

Then, Ella says to me when I tuck her in at night, "Momma, you are my big teddy bear." And I know all the crazy is worth it.

Right??