run out

I'm not entirely sure what is going on with me and running.

Suffice it to say that I've lost my running mojo.

Since spraining my ankle the night before the Sugarloaf Marathon 2 months ago, I've had some on and off catching and weakness in my ankle. I also haven't felt much like running.  It feels more like drudgery and pulling my body along, not the elusive high-flying feeling that has always kept me coming back for more.

Then, at the end of an 11 miler last week (week 4 or so into marathon training for the MDI full in October) I got a persistent pain in my right leg, the same side of the twisted ankle.  My last mile was painful and it hurt up through my knee for the rest of the day and, making walking uncomfortable and running impossible the next morning.

I rested and set out of a 6 mile run two days ago and made it less than 2 miles before the pain returned and I had to walk home (a serious bummer in the face of all the self-congratulating I had been doing for the previous 1.64 miles).

So a painful leg and a lack of desire to run.  I did what every woman seeking freedom from self-imposed judgments and unrealistic expectations does. 

I ripped that oppressive marathon schedule right off my fridge and tossed it in the trash.

I've been riding my bike as part rehab and part sheer joy.  I LOVE to ride my bike, even though I need, at minimum toe clips and at best a road bike instead of my hybrid.  But I can average 14.5 miles and hour and I go out early before it is hot and I feel like there has never been anything more glorious in the world than riding a bike.

Makes sense to me I should do what makes me happy.  It isn't as if I'm talking about eating boxes of Chips A'hoy whilst laying on  the couch watching 80's movies in succession.

We will see where it all takes me. I've realized I'm finally mature enough not to freak out about a small set back and I have enough perspective to know that even if I couldn't run anymore (as if) that my body is kind of a playground to me and there are countless things I can do that are gratifying and fun AND keep my physically fit. 

This is me not having a tantrum.  I think it looks good on me.