driving ms. daisy

This is the way a typical car ride looks these days:

(And picture this scenario happening in the rapid fire manner in which is does where she barely pauses for breath, let alone someone to answer the incessant questions.)

"Momma, if you wanted to get a belly ache eating candy would be a good way to get one. But who would WANT to get a belly ache?"

"What are the square boxes on the road for?"
"Well, they tell drivers when they can-"
"Is sap what makes a tree be alive?"
"No. Sap runs from the tree. A tree lives on-"
"Little chick hill isn't really that little at all is it?"

"I think those workers should ask the government before they go working on the roads?"

"Cars have to obey the rules, right? Why is that?"
"Because it keeps people safe. Road rules are good rules. Most rules are good. But not all rules are good."
"Like which rules?"
"Like the rule that says Mommy and Momma can't get married because we are two girls."
"Yeah, that's not a good rule."

"These bunny ears" (just purchased at Target for $1) "would be much cuter if we had a whole bunny costume. Can we get one? Can we be bunnies for Halloween next year?"
"I don't know. That would be cute but that is far away and I don't want to decide that right now."
"Why? You don't want us to be bunnies? Why not? Halloween is fun. Why don't you think it's fun?"

"This band is called the Cranberries? Really?! That is SO silly! The CRANBERRIES!"

"Does the Earth spin like this?" Makes slow motion with her hands. "Was the Earth always here? Will it always be here?"

"How do people sleep with their eyes open? I mean, does it look like this?" Bug eyes and holds it without a blink.

"Can you choose if you have a boy or a girl baby?" I inform her that you cannot choose, you get whatever you're meant to have. "But I want to be able to pick. I'm glad I wasn't born a boy because then I would have a penis. I'm glad I don't have one of those. I'm glad I have a vagina."

"Can you turn up the music and we can rock it out?"

"Can we take Coconut to Schoodic this summer for summer vacation? And when we do does he have to ride in the carrier or can he be free in the van."

And there I am in the front, simultaneously surging with pride for this bright little mind that is budding behind my upholstered seat and feeling certain that this line of questioning and CONSTANT chatter would be a highly effective device for torture and wondering how I can make it stop. And then there is Maya who either chooses sleep or intermittently yelling, "No Ella Carver!" at her chatterbox sister.