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Tuesday, March 20, 2012

suddenly summer

A very odd and unexpected thing has happened here in Maine.

We had a short winter, an early and brief mud season and today we leap-frogged over spring (rather impolitely I might add since today was Spring's debut) and right into summer.  Today reached a high of 80 and had us digging our shorts and flip flops out of the totes in the eves.

This is officially the strangest March I can remember.  Only in Maine can you need to light a fire in the woodstove  in the morning and then be contemplating the need for the air conditioner in the low ceilinged kids' room in the afternoon. I want to pack the snow pants and gloves away but this is Maine, after all, and another snowstorm is not out of the question.

Ella had an early dismissal day and Maya has been running a fever and had to stay home from school. We stayed outside most of the day (minus Maya's rest time) and ate 2 of our 3 meals on Adirondack chairs in the backyard.  Sandi got this idea to build a clubhouse for the kids under their existing playset and the project got busy today what with having one child home early and the other burning through the ibuprofen and Tylenol.  Child labor should not be wasted.

A visit to the pediatrician this morning verified that Maya had a viral thing that needed to run its course.  True to form, she would only rest when she had to and the rest of the time wanted to be in the yard working with us.

Ummmm, when did our daughter start looking like a teenager?
Maya sawing?  Yes, indeed, with this kids hand saw the girls got along with a toolbox from their very handy grandmother who can build houses and stuff like that. (I love that she is wearing my "grow"  hat in this pic and that all her fingers are still attached.)
Ella got to use the cordless drill for the first time.  Hopefully that doesn't mean that now she will also need a back-up cordless drill which Sandi informs me is a bonus for any handy woman.  (Yes, we have a back-up one in case you were wondering.)

One thing is for sure, people did some growing over the winter.

Sandi is currently doing my favorite thing about nurse anesthesia school so far: spring break. While not without work, she is home and around and able to do all the boring, soul-draining things like brush kids' teeth, do laundry and referee arguments. Honestly, having her home has led me to a strange state of decompression. It is like I have realized how tightly held together I have been and how fragile this state of living has been for me. I feel like a survivor of a catastrophe who is only able to fall apart once the crisis is over.

Okay, so perhaps a bit dramatic but you get it.

I suddenly realize I have been barely able to breath just trying to keep it all together and not upset the delicate balance of our lives and my internal landscape.  Now, looking in the rearview, I am overcome with fatigue, weariness and sadness. Having Sandi home has made me realize how, despite my deep connections to my friends, truly lonely I have been. I have so missed Sandi's company and love as well as having another adult around to shoulder the responsibility of a family.

To be honest, I am rather terrified of picking up the load again next week.  Being mindful and introspective is sometimes a serious pain in the ass when you've got things to do.

Starting next week, Sandi only has four more weeks of traveling to Portland and then she will be starting her 18 months of clinicals here at our local hospital.  This is awesome and a milestone for sure, but those who have gone before her say that clinicals are actually harder than the didactic portion because you have to put in such long days in addition to course work. 

So she will be sleeping at home every night and we can visit while we slumber.  Except that she probably will have to give up sleep from the other rumors that go on about clinicals and the late nights prepping for the next day's surgeries.

I am only at mile 8 of a marathon. I can't get tired now. I need a Gu.

Maybe I can strive to be more like Maya, who smiles like this with a fever of 101, taking the discomfort in stride and not letting it stop her from the things she loves.
Although, just two hours after I took this picture her fever spiked to 105.5 (the highest fever to date in our house) and she was glassy eyed and shivering on the couch under a blanket.  We go for the crash and burn around here.

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