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Sunday, February 5, 2012

2 moms, 2 babies

When Ella was about 15 months old, we got a call from the women who taught our hypnobirthing class. "I've got two moms coming to class now. Okay if I put them in touch with you?"

A week later, Mindy and Charissa came over for dinner. Charissa was wearing a fire-engine red Tulane sweatshirt on a belly so full of baby it looked as though he might fall right out from under her sweatshirt any second.  It being Mardi Gras time and Charissa being from New Orleans she brought a King Cake that her mom had mailed to her from the south.  For the uninitiated, as I was at the time, King Cake is a danish-like cake with a hidden baby figurine cooked into it.  Whoever "gets" the baby is said to have good luck, or a fantastic upcoming year, or maybe is bound to win the lottery.  I guess I don't remember. 

I just remember Charissa with her fake looking baby belly, the soft southern cadence of her words and Mindy's wide smile and genuine heart.

When we were having Ella we knew zero gay parents.  We were happy to meet them and thrilled that we hit it off so well.  The rest, the trips, the annual New Year's Ever parties, the dinners, the emergency assistance given, the sharing of kids and the endless hours of laughter, is history.  Mindy and Charissa are the friends who help you when you garage floods or branches fall in your front yard over you power line.  They are the people to talk you of the ledge and even help you take your Christmas decorations down every damn year. 

Today was their baby shower to welcome their twins in a few short weeks!

I can't get enough of seeing a pregnant mom with her hand resting lovingly (protectively) over her belly. And Mindy makes a glowing baby maker.

In my ongoing attempt to live my life just south of utterly overwhelmed, I did not make a cake for the shower or paint my bathroom.  Instead I got a delicious cake from Frank's bakery and washed the smudges off the in-need-of-a-facelift bathroom walls.  Moderation here I come.

I even asked Mindy's mom and step-mom to bring some food and I bought the rest.  I'm telling you.  New leaf.  Turned over.

(In the corner is my new shelving unit where I keep all my pantry stuff in jars so I can get to it easier and because I think there is something surprisingly beautiful about dried beans and grains.  Emilie's husband, Sam, calls it my legume display.)
When I went to Frank's to pick up the cake yesterday,  a man got to talking to our girls when he saw their faces pressed up against the bakery case glass.  He told them they should get one of the mini football cakes for their dad.  I was silent for a moment as the girls stared at him, mouths slightly agape, and then I decided my silence would send the wrong message to the girls.  I informed him that they didn't have a dad.  Then I determined that, while I didn't feel the need to disclose our family structure to this stranger pushing baked goods on my children, my lack of elaboration might be misconstrued by the girls.

"They have 2 moms," I told him.

"Wow.  Two moms.  I think it would pretty great to have two moms.  Two moms is better than a dad, really.  Moms are more loving than dads."

While I do still hold a fondness for the standard nuclear family, I couldn't help but think of his words while I watched Mindy and Charissa.

Two moms, two babies.  One set of loving, gentle arms for each baby.  The perfect ratio of infant to mom.

I've never been to a baby shower for twins before. It is so cute.  They get two of everything!

Laurie, who helped me enormously with the shower, came up with this cool "money" tree.

We outfitted our breast pump with all new stuff for Mindy and got each of the babies felt booties.  I could hardly stand it they are so cute.
There were 8 kids and 3 babies at the party.  Our beloved babysitter, Olivia, came and supervised the kids upstairs.  I'm pretty sure this makes her a saint.  The energy of 8 kids felt a bit like Emerson's hair:




















 Mindy's step-dad, a fellow lover of cake and frosting, was looking forward to cake.  He was even happy that it was a rectangular cake rather than a circular one so that there would be a corner piece for him.   He was a man prepared.  Check out the fork:














We have spent so much time telling Ella, and now Maya, how lucky she is to have two moms.  How special it is.  I knew we had perhaps gone too far one day when she said, "Oh, that's sad for her.  She just has a mom and a dad."  Time to dial it back a bit.

But check it out?  I mean, seriously, how lucky are these babies going to be?

We, for sure, can't wait to meet them.

1 comment:

Charissa said...

Thank You Suzanne! Love the post. I remember the first time meeting you guys and how much my face hurt from smiling when we left. What a wonderful friendship we've created. One where we don't have to talk everyday but manage to pick up where we left off. Because we just know... How lucky that from that first meeting we've managed to multiply the number two mom families we know 10 fold and our kids get to have role models all over town!! We love us some Carver girls

 
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