digging my way out

My last post was "emerging."  This time I had to go with a title that had more balls.

When Sandi started school last fall I had two fears:  getting sick and our aged car breaking down.

Fate saw to it that both happened at the same time.

After my last post I was gearing up to "reign over my personal universe" as Zoe called it.   The virus that had overtaken my body, making me think of that Dustin Hoffman/Rene Russo film "Outbreak", was also gearing up to reign over my personal universe.

I had the "gotcha" virus.  Very scientific.  Just when you think you have overpowered it, it grabs you, shouts "gotcha" in the snide way only a triumphant virus can, and takes you down again.  I was sick for 2 weeks.  By the end I had conjunctivis that made made my eye swell nearly closed, a sinus infection and bronchitis.  And I had eaten all the dry cereal and popsicles in the house.  Between my sickness, the kids getting bits of what I had and some ill-placed snowdays and teacher workshop days, I feel like I have been on house arrest.

But don't worry. It isn't like our car broke down, threatening to strand Sandi in Portland while I crawled around the house with one eye, trying to make supper for the kids and attempt not to cough up a lung. 

Except it did.

All is well now.  I am back on my feet with both ocular faculties and am chomping at the bit to get to the gym (if there is a snow day tomorrow my friends better lock their doors or they may find themselves with an extra couple of kids).  Sandi has a new car and is down in Portland growing her brain cells like a chia pet.

Here are some things I have learned recently:

-There is pretty much nothing more awesome than eating at Pizza Hut with your seven-year-old who was teaming with pride to have choosen the establishment. Especially when she takes a bite of the chocolate pudding from the salad bar, sighs in delight and murmurs, "Delicious."  (Ella and I had a date today.  She didn't have school but Maya did.)

-The stomach bug beats the pants off a 2 week sickness. Twenty four hours of desperation is better than being sick so long you can't remember what being well feels like.  (That being said, I do not wish to contract the stomach flu.  I've paid my sickness dues for the year.)

-My life must have more meaning than driving, cooking, shopping, cleaning, and supervising.  However it is the extra "stuff", organizing dances, baking for people who are sick or down, throwing parties, taking on projects, that both fulfill and exhaust me.  I can't live with them and can't live without them.

- It's a good thing file taxes has a reward at the end.

- An unwavering want for cake means that I am out of balance.

-When I'm sick, I have very little fight and drive.  I sleep, sit on the couch, watch TV and cannot even imagine how I normaly move so fast. If you ever need my consent for something major, ask me while I'm sick.  You're chances are good.

- An overwhelmed mother does not make a good caretaker for an elderly, incontinent dog.

-Sometimes, after things go wrong for a while, they inevitably go right again.

My friend Ange sent this to me in a text today:  "I wish I could do one thing and do it well and not half ass about 10 million things."

I so want a bumper sticker that says that.