warning: this post may contain bitterness
There are things you learn as you gain life experience- things that you never would have thought of until them come knocking on your door. For instance, I now know that if tears fall when you are running in 40 degree weather, they don't really freeze but just make you cold.
And that, at age two, when you see your momma cry, you are more likely to reach out a chubby hand in compassion than just look with a quizzical expression.
That, sadly, people commit more hateful and judgemental acts in the name of God than for any other reason.
And that, often, when people win they really lose. (It was Sandi that blessedly came up with this one, lending me to bend my heart and open to a bit of compassion for the smug victors who have actually gained nothing.)
But, most of all, that when you heart breaks, you know the people who really love you.
As my friend Mindy said this morning, it is hard not to draw a line between "us" and "them"- not to eye others with suspicion. I told Sandi I wanted all the signs down- I don't want to know who voted yes, who made it their right to cast our family and our relationship aside as less than theirs, who lay in their bed last night in the arms of their spouses, arrogantly proud that they had "protected" their marriage.
Sandi said she didn't want to take our No on 1 sign down. She wanted it to rot there on the lawn.
I, on the other hand, want to go and collect 50,000 signatures to put a citizens initiative on the ballot that makes it illegal to be closed minded and prejudiced.
It isn't that I want to hurry out and buy a white puffy dress and have someone declare my partnership legitimate. I just want my children to grow up in a culture, in a society where everyone is equal, is free, where all love is celebrated and valid and recognized, in a place where their family is a family in the eyes of the law.
Sandi said it is just one more opportunity to teach our kids about love.
And all I can think is, why do we have to keep teaching love as the antidote to hate?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
I'm amazed that you are thinking this clearly about it, and that you can articulate your thoughts so well, when I just woke up pissed and disheartened. I'll never ever ever understand how someone can feel that today is a victory. I swear we will win this eventually, but damn.
Dear Sandi and Suzanne,
My thoughts have been with you and your girls all day on this painful day in our state--and with my Godchild Sylvia, her partner Jenna and their two little boys. We all lost today--what a golden opportunity missed to demonstrate to the world that we in Maine are fair and committed to equality for all. We will not give up. We will find a way-- but at times like this patience is hard.
Lots of love. Hang in there and keep the faith.
Beth Brand
Post a Comment