pinch me

Sandi took her boards yesterday.  Actually, she took them while I was writing the post below about how burnt out I feel.  I had a mini breakdown after that as I began to digest the magnitude of what we have been through and what was riding on this test.

Then she called me and said, "Hey, Babe..." and I wanted to jump through the phone.  How can you lead with that???  Dear God, DID YOU PASS????

Of course she did.

It is over.

We met up at Geaghan's and sampled beer for our celebration party (what could be more fitting?) in the middle of the afternoon while the kids were still at school.  Sandi's face looked like the Sandi I used to know 27 months ago and my whole heart felt complete in a way it hasn't in far too long.  She was smiling.  She was bright and engaged and there.

The four of us went out to dinner to celebrate and there was a lightness and laughter and freedom I don't think any of us have felt since it began.

I woke up this morning free of stress and worry.  Absent was this pressured feeling like I had to race to get everything done and care for myself and the kids and their breakfast, teeth brushing, dressing and packing their lunch.  Sandi was there and could help with it.  I didn't have to rush or have my heart beat too fast.

My whole world looks entirely different today in a way I wasn't really expecting. I thought it might take a few months to settle but here we are with our lives back.

I can't describe it better than that.  I get to spend the whole day today with Sandi.  The whole, entire day.