In the kitchen

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Sunday, October 10, 2010

my job description

Mother is the umbrella term. If you had an umbrella large enough to cover the Eastern seaboard.


Here are all the mini-jobs that make up the mothership.

-nose wiper
-stuffed animal handler
-plastic food taster
-mover of things from downstairs to upstairs and upstairs to downstairs
-supposedly empathetic ear to complaining, whining and general grievances related to food, sibling behavior and the transgressions of pets
-dog walker (and pooper scooper)
-cat monitor (do you know how many times a cat seeks entrance and exit to a from a house??)
-hugger
-shuffler of clean dishes to dirty and dirty dishes to clean, 3 x a day
-nose-picker police
-banker
-accountant
-family historian
-crisis worker (working ongoing 24 hour shifts)
-clothing shuffler- from 2T to 3T, from season to season, I am ALWAYS shuffling totes of clothes
-gardener
-occupant of the spring loaded seat at meals such that as soon as I sit I am catapulted upright to fulfill a request
-spectator (who always has to come running for "look at this!" or "check this out!")
-tear wiper
-chauffeur
-events organizer/cruise director
-cook (who am I kidding? caterer!)
-toilet paper, laundry soap, paper towel stocker (Yes, this is a job in and of itself- a subset of grocery shopper.)
-maid
-punctuality expert
-garbage (wo)man
-teacher
-referee
-recycling/composting monitor
-keeper of the snacks and water bottles and tissues (and now ponytail holders)
-storyteller (my work can be viewed nightly at bedtime)
-security blanket locator

And I can imagine there are 50 more I haven't thought of in this particular moment.


1 comment:

Emilie said...

look! the comments are working again! I like how "nose wiper" is at the top of the list. isn't that so true? thanks for being my ally in mommyland. xo

 
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