We have a new method for reducing the amount of garments mounting into laundry stacks on the bathroom floor. Ella came up with it actually. It's called wear-the-same-thing-to-bed-that-you-wore-all-day. After a bath, she'll say "Can I put my skirt back on?" And we've come to say, why the hell not? Forget the pj's. Ella just wants a skirt and a shirt- or better yet, nothing at all. Ella doesn't wear "regular" clothes anymore. Each day is a new opportunity for a new dress, skirt, or a newly discovered combination of her usual standbys. While she does change her outfit many times a day, unless she is outside making a mess, the clothes don't get all that dirty, making for a large volume of worn clothes but not so many in need of laundering. This makes me a happy mom.
Do we see her passion funneling into a career as a high powered New York fashion designer or some obscure, clothing obsessed woman who still thinks a tu-tu is the way to go at age 25?
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Sunday, June 1, 2008
The new and improved motorcycle
We had an unbelievable downpour this afternoon- the type where the drops fall on the windshield the radius of a tea cup and the high speed wipers don't even do the job.
Emilie and I took our kids to get an ice cream (and it was going to be the park before the rain washed away that plan.) On the way there, we passed a couple of motorcyclists getting soaked in the rain. Ella noted some things that would make their ride better.
"Motorcycles should have a roof on them."
"Those guys on the motorcycle should carry an umbrella."
Picture those in your mind and try not to laugh. Especially if you substitute parasol for umbrella.
Completely unrelated, I want to make a public (or semi-public for the 5 people who read this blog) declaration of appreciation for our friends and family. I get the sense that people know how much support I have needed recently. Yesterday, my very pregnant sister came and spent the day with me and our dear friends Jeanine and Maria babysat the girls so I could give her a massage. My mom has been coming up to visit, sleepover and help out a ton since Maya has been born- she comes up most Sundays that Sandi works just to keep me company since most of my friends are busy with their families on the weekend. Mindy and Charissa are a grounding force who know just when to stop by, offer supper, take Ella for a few hours or drop off a yummy piece of rhubarb pie. Emilie, always looking for something to occupy her time too, can be counted on for an easy trip to the park or a visit at one of our houses. My friend Angela has become wonderful company for me, both in person and on the phone and email, just when I feel I might lose my mind, and Ella (and I) adore her son Brady. Thanks to Trish for being my ever steady work out partner keeping my physical and mental state strong. And to the rest of the Carvers who would and have dropped everything if we are in need (or even want.)
I don't know if it takes a village to raise a child exactly. But for me, it takes at least all of these people and for all of you (and those I may not have named right now) I am externally appreciative. I love you all.
Emilie and I took our kids to get an ice cream (and it was going to be the park before the rain washed away that plan.) On the way there, we passed a couple of motorcyclists getting soaked in the rain. Ella noted some things that would make their ride better.
"Motorcycles should have a roof on them."
"Those guys on the motorcycle should carry an umbrella."
Picture those in your mind and try not to laugh. Especially if you substitute parasol for umbrella.
Completely unrelated, I want to make a public (or semi-public for the 5 people who read this blog) declaration of appreciation for our friends and family. I get the sense that people know how much support I have needed recently. Yesterday, my very pregnant sister came and spent the day with me and our dear friends Jeanine and Maria babysat the girls so I could give her a massage. My mom has been coming up to visit, sleepover and help out a ton since Maya has been born- she comes up most Sundays that Sandi works just to keep me company since most of my friends are busy with their families on the weekend. Mindy and Charissa are a grounding force who know just when to stop by, offer supper, take Ella for a few hours or drop off a yummy piece of rhubarb pie. Emilie, always looking for something to occupy her time too, can be counted on for an easy trip to the park or a visit at one of our houses. My friend Angela has become wonderful company for me, both in person and on the phone and email, just when I feel I might lose my mind, and Ella (and I) adore her son Brady. Thanks to Trish for being my ever steady work out partner keeping my physical and mental state strong. And to the rest of the Carvers who would and have dropped everything if we are in need (or even want.)
I don't know if it takes a village to raise a child exactly. But for me, it takes at least all of these people and for all of you (and those I may not have named right now) I am externally appreciative. I love you all.
The Visible Purple Family
The other day we were at Lowe's buying lumber for Ella and Maya's super duper, Sandi designing on steroids, play set. We were walking through the store, Ella on Sandi's shoulders, Maya strapped on me in the Baby Bjorn. A cashier, with no customers, was out milling in the main thoroughfare and came out to see the girls. She oohed and aaahed over them and Ella even told her she was three when asked (something she has never done with a stranger.) The women said to Maya, "You out shopping with your mom?"
In the easy manner I use in these situations, I simply said, "Yup. Their out with both their moms."
Now some people wonder why do this. What does the Lowe's Lady care about a 2 mom family. The answer (which most reading this blog would gather) is simply that it feels incredibly important to be visible, to be proud, to be relaxed and be happy to be just what we are. It is so critical to us that people see that same-sex parent households look a whole lot like the standard.
She smiled and we went on our way. A few minutes later, I ran back to the bathroom to get water for Maya's bottle and passed her on my way out.
She told me to have a nice day and then, as I was running toward the parking lot and our crying baby, she called, "By the way, you two make a cute couple... and a cute family!"
And a side note: Ella got a kid-safe princess hand fan at the store the other day. It was in the "impulse buy" section of the check-out, right at kid level. She had asked me for it on at least 5 other trips and I had told her no. This day, she had been so good and patient through the whole trip and I was so appreciating her patient perseverance, I said yes. I told her the biggest reason why I said yes was that she had not complained every other time I had told her no.
So she proudly brought the fan home. She was playing with Maya in the kitchen and I was unloading the bags. I had asked her the same question a few times with no answer from her and she was getting aggravated with me. Finally, she spun around and thrust her fan-clutching hand toward me, pointed it with some serious precision and threatened, "IF YOU ASK ME THAT QUESTION ONE MORE TIME I WILL TURN YOU PURPLE!"
In the easy manner I use in these situations, I simply said, "Yup. Their out with both their moms."
Now some people wonder why do this. What does the Lowe's Lady care about a 2 mom family. The answer (which most reading this blog would gather) is simply that it feels incredibly important to be visible, to be proud, to be relaxed and be happy to be just what we are. It is so critical to us that people see that same-sex parent households look a whole lot like the standard.
She smiled and we went on our way. A few minutes later, I ran back to the bathroom to get water for Maya's bottle and passed her on my way out.
She told me to have a nice day and then, as I was running toward the parking lot and our crying baby, she called, "By the way, you two make a cute couple... and a cute family!"
And a side note: Ella got a kid-safe princess hand fan at the store the other day. It was in the "impulse buy" section of the check-out, right at kid level. She had asked me for it on at least 5 other trips and I had told her no. This day, she had been so good and patient through the whole trip and I was so appreciating her patient perseverance, I said yes. I told her the biggest reason why I said yes was that she had not complained every other time I had told her no.
So she proudly brought the fan home. She was playing with Maya in the kitchen and I was unloading the bags. I had asked her the same question a few times with no answer from her and she was getting aggravated with me. Finally, she spun around and thrust her fan-clutching hand toward me, pointed it with some serious precision and threatened, "IF YOU ASK ME THAT QUESTION ONE MORE TIME I WILL TURN YOU PURPLE!"
Friday, May 23, 2008
Some things I've learned since becoming a parent
1. Sometimes a good night sleep on the end of several sleepless nights makes one even more tired.
2. Few things smell better than Johnson’s Baby Shampoo on the head of a sleeping child.
3. Your children don’t usually have malicious intent when they ask you “but when are we leaving?” for the 100th time or “yes/no/yes/no” in response to an easy question, they are simply trying words and interactions out for the pure fun of it.
4. I would rather spend my tax return on a new swing set than a trip away.
5. While I may not have grown the extra hands I pray for at night, I have learned to better utilize the two I have.
6. That the best part of a jam packed holiday weekend can be the time where everyone gets out of the car in an empty parking lot and you chase your three-year-old around.
7. I’ve begun to understand the notion of a family unit- wherein I do things sometimes for the harmony of the circle of us, rather than fulfilling my own intentions.
8. I know that the sweet smell of a baby’s breath cannot be overshadowed even by the freshest lilac blossom.
9. I understand why experienced moms have messy houses.
10. Few things feel as good in your hand and the soft, fleshy, smallness of your child’s hand.
11. A dog can be a general hassle when you have children, but it makes the best cleaner-upper of all food flung by said children.
12. That being sick and having children to take care of (especially sick ones) is pretty much the worst feeling in the world.
13. I’ve learned it’s worth getting excited about the tinkle of the ice cream truck, catching sight of the first spring butterfly, REALLY good macaroni and cheese, licking the cake batter beaters, finding a new playground and sleeping all together in one big bed.
14. Going to work is “time off.”
15. And that coming home, hearing the unrestrained peels of laughter and excitement at my arrival would warm me through and through like a 1,000 cups of cocoa.
16. It is best to travel with too many wipes than too few.
17. Even though it’s heavy, bring all the clothes for all possible weather patterns.
18. If a dishwasher your kitchen is without, pillage, debt or beg until you get one.
19. That babies give you such huge, gummy grins when they wake at 4:30 a.m. that it is impossible to be angry with them.
20. A colossal, blow-up Elmo and Frosty the Snowman are not the worst things that can happen to your lawn.
21. The start of Sesame Street Live can actually make you cry when you see your child’s face aglow and full of awe when Big Bird takes the stage.
22. Turkey pepperoni is a legitimate protein.
23. Smoothies are the best way to hide nutrition, hands down.
24. Drool can make a lovely leave-in conditioner.
25. Thumb sucking should be encouraged heavily- it far beats chasing down a pacifier in the middle of the night.
26. It’s okay to use whipped cream as topping to bribe kids to eat fruits and vegetables.
27. Satin dresses and hiking shoes can make a stylish ensemble if colors are complimentary.
28. There is an acceptable threshold of spit-up or smeared food on a Mom’s clothing- and it gets higher with every passing year.
29. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being overwhelmed with the long days and equally overwhelmed by the fast years, tearing up at the thought of when your arms can no longer hold your babies in them.
30. Most importantly, I’ve learned that just as ice cream cones, pigtails, wriggling worms in a muddy hand and lighting bugs are all quintessential hallmarks of childhood, it is also the case that cold, interrupted suppers, sleepless nights, a never ending grocery list, a house that can only stay clean for 2 hours, feelings of love so intense we struggle to express them, a kindredness with all other moms who have gone before, a steady, uphill climb toward self-improvement so that we can be a better person for our children, and a sense that the world is a better place because of the magnificent children we are contributing to the human race are all hallmarks of motherhood.
2. Few things smell better than Johnson’s Baby Shampoo on the head of a sleeping child.
3. Your children don’t usually have malicious intent when they ask you “but when are we leaving?” for the 100th time or “yes/no/yes/no” in response to an easy question, they are simply trying words and interactions out for the pure fun of it.
4. I would rather spend my tax return on a new swing set than a trip away.
5. While I may not have grown the extra hands I pray for at night, I have learned to better utilize the two I have.
6. That the best part of a jam packed holiday weekend can be the time where everyone gets out of the car in an empty parking lot and you chase your three-year-old around.
7. I’ve begun to understand the notion of a family unit- wherein I do things sometimes for the harmony of the circle of us, rather than fulfilling my own intentions.
8. I know that the sweet smell of a baby’s breath cannot be overshadowed even by the freshest lilac blossom.
9. I understand why experienced moms have messy houses.
10. Few things feel as good in your hand and the soft, fleshy, smallness of your child’s hand.
11. A dog can be a general hassle when you have children, but it makes the best cleaner-upper of all food flung by said children.
12. That being sick and having children to take care of (especially sick ones) is pretty much the worst feeling in the world.
13. I’ve learned it’s worth getting excited about the tinkle of the ice cream truck, catching sight of the first spring butterfly, REALLY good macaroni and cheese, licking the cake batter beaters, finding a new playground and sleeping all together in one big bed.
14. Going to work is “time off.”
15. And that coming home, hearing the unrestrained peels of laughter and excitement at my arrival would warm me through and through like a 1,000 cups of cocoa.
16. It is best to travel with too many wipes than too few.
17. Even though it’s heavy, bring all the clothes for all possible weather patterns.
18. If a dishwasher your kitchen is without, pillage, debt or beg until you get one.
19. That babies give you such huge, gummy grins when they wake at 4:30 a.m. that it is impossible to be angry with them.
20. A colossal, blow-up Elmo and Frosty the Snowman are not the worst things that can happen to your lawn.
21. The start of Sesame Street Live can actually make you cry when you see your child’s face aglow and full of awe when Big Bird takes the stage.
22. Turkey pepperoni is a legitimate protein.
23. Smoothies are the best way to hide nutrition, hands down.
24. Drool can make a lovely leave-in conditioner.
25. Thumb sucking should be encouraged heavily- it far beats chasing down a pacifier in the middle of the night.
26. It’s okay to use whipped cream as topping to bribe kids to eat fruits and vegetables.
27. Satin dresses and hiking shoes can make a stylish ensemble if colors are complimentary.
28. There is an acceptable threshold of spit-up or smeared food on a Mom’s clothing- and it gets higher with every passing year.
29. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being overwhelmed with the long days and equally overwhelmed by the fast years, tearing up at the thought of when your arms can no longer hold your babies in them.
30. Most importantly, I’ve learned that just as ice cream cones, pigtails, wriggling worms in a muddy hand and lighting bugs are all quintessential hallmarks of childhood, it is also the case that cold, interrupted suppers, sleepless nights, a never ending grocery list, a house that can only stay clean for 2 hours, feelings of love so intense we struggle to express them, a kindredness with all other moms who have gone before, a steady, uphill climb toward self-improvement so that we can be a better person for our children, and a sense that the world is a better place because of the magnificent children we are contributing to the human race are all hallmarks of motherhood.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Defining Moments
You know those moments when your heart feels like it could burst?
I had one today, driving home with our van full of girls (Mochy included.) We had a really lovely day, the one day Sandi was off in between two work stretches. I worked this morning and then we had the whole rest of the day unplanned- an occurrence as infrequent as Haley's Comet.
All four of us, mostly well-rested except maybe for a chronically overtired Sandi, went out on the town for an early dinner. We splurged on yummy dessert, wine for Sandi, and carbohydrates for me (I'm only sort of kidding.) On the way home, our girls were just so unbelievably cheery. Ella and Maya were literally squealing with delight at just having their moms' undivided attention. Sandi was in the back making funny sounds at Maya who was mimicking them exactly and cracking herself up each time. I drove away from the dark, thunderous skies of Bangor toward the sunny, rainbowed skies of Hampden wondering if it was a good sign- hard times behind, smooth sailing ahead. And by this I mean everyday struggle finally abating. I found myself thinking, is there a family happier than us in this moment? I think not. (If you were happier than this at 6 p.m. tonight, go ahead and tell me. I'll be happy for you.)
Oh, and our sizeable tax return checks came in the mail today. Already carved out for next winter's heat, some repair work on our lawn and our gorgeous new energy efficient washer and dryer (our last months electricity bill with the old ones was $240), and some left for play. We are one happy bunch of girls.
Fish Tail - Part II
We got another fish.
This one, reminiscent of it's predecessor, is named "Baby Fish."
We're hopeful for her future since she swims around roughly 100% more than the recently deceased "Fish Fish Baby Fish."
She is a female Betta who will be living her days in solitary (with only herself to look at in a hand mirror for stimulation -she gets all wild thinking she must attack when she sees herself in the reflection) so that we can preserve her current state of being alive. The male Bettas (which we had) are very beautiful, with brilliant colors and large, flapping fins. In some cruel game of nature, the females are puny and muted in color. Ella, of course, choose the girl. No amount of "Oh, look at this pretty one!" would sway her. She wanted the red girl fish. The fish bowl is sitting on our kitchen table and Ella loves to watch her while she eats since Baby Fish tends to blend in with the red plant in her bowl and Ella thinks she is playing hide and seek.
On a side note, here is a conversation about beauty Ella and I had a few weeks ago as we were leaving the house.
Ella: Will people look at me when I wear this dress?
Me: Yes, I suppose they will.
Ella: Will they look at me because I am so beautiful?
Me: Well, yes. You are beautiful. (And herein ensues a deep discussion of how it is important to know that you are beautiful in who you are and what other people think is irrelevant. I attempt to ride the fine line between encouraging unabashed self-confidence in Ella along with a touch of modesty.)
Ella processes all of this momentarily.
Me: (purely out of curiosity) Am I beautiful?
Ella: No.
Me: Will people look at me when we go out?
Ella: No.
Me: Why not?
Ella: Because you are not beautiful.
Thanks a lot. (She did tell me later that I looked beautiful because of the necklace I was wearing. I think she thinks beauty is all about accessorizing.)
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Casualties of Childhood
Last week we bought Ella a fish. A beta fish that was a brilliant blue - she named him Fish Fish Baby Fish (and sometimes Fish Fish Baby Fish Blue Fish depending on her mood.) We got the obligatory bowl and colored gravel and fake tropical plant to give Fish Fish Baby Fish the full illusion of a natural habitat.
Then we (Ella and myself) got it in our heads that he would be so much happier with a friend.
We did some light research into this and asked some seemingly knowledgeable sales folk the important questions, even asking one guy to get his more experienced co-worker when he said, "Yeah, I think this one will be okay" about some baby shark-type fish that actually needed a heater and air circulator when all we had was a measly bowl.
We were steered in the direction of a larger goldfish- allegedly the little goldfish tend to nip at the beta fish but the big ones not so much since they aren't as intimidated by the beta (also know as the Japanese Fighting Fish.) This was wholly untrue. Our poor beta had bite marks in his side the next morning, earning the still yet unnamed goldfish a big fat "time-out" (as Ella said) in a bowl of his own. Then he made the journey to Beals Island to live among Kristi's fish where hopefully he can learn to play well with others.
And here comes the casualty part: we came home from Beals this afternoon to find a dead Fish Fish Baby Fish. Dead fish don't actually float. At least he didn't. We had him exactly 6 days. Not exactly a record of longevity. We broke the news to a rather stoic Ella who took it all in and then decided that flushing him down the toilet was "not a good idea" and opted for a backyard burial. He was laid to rest this afternoon of May 15, 2008 in a deep hole we pray Mochy won't dig up.
Tomorrow we will be off to the pet store to start the journey all over again.
Then we (Ella and myself) got it in our heads that he would be so much happier with a friend.
We did some light research into this and asked some seemingly knowledgeable sales folk the important questions, even asking one guy to get his more experienced co-worker when he said, "Yeah, I think this one will be okay" about some baby shark-type fish that actually needed a heater and air circulator when all we had was a measly bowl.
We were steered in the direction of a larger goldfish- allegedly the little goldfish tend to nip at the beta fish but the big ones not so much since they aren't as intimidated by the beta (also know as the Japanese Fighting Fish.) This was wholly untrue. Our poor beta had bite marks in his side the next morning, earning the still yet unnamed goldfish a big fat "time-out" (as Ella said) in a bowl of his own. Then he made the journey to Beals Island to live among Kristi's fish where hopefully he can learn to play well with others.
And here comes the casualty part: we came home from Beals this afternoon to find a dead Fish Fish Baby Fish. Dead fish don't actually float. At least he didn't. We had him exactly 6 days. Not exactly a record of longevity. We broke the news to a rather stoic Ella who took it all in and then decided that flushing him down the toilet was "not a good idea" and opted for a backyard burial. He was laid to rest this afternoon of May 15, 2008 in a deep hole we pray Mochy won't dig up.
Tomorrow we will be off to the pet store to start the journey all over again.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
P.P.S
During one of Maya's meltdowns this morning, Ella was after me about some insignificant details. I took one of those breaths that has become a part of every hour and said,
"I. Just. Need. A. Minute."
She looked a tad bit afraid but left me alone (for no more than 2 minutes.)
Later, we were getting ready to go to the park and we were having a struggle about a hat. You need a hat. No, I don't want one. Yes, you do - go pick one out. How about my ponytail hat? That is a winter hat - it will be too warm. BUT I WANT MY PONTAIL HAT! (Deep breath) Okay, fine. (what is the harm is she is too hot?)
But she didn't put that or any other hat on and we were at the get-a-hat-on-or-we-won't-go-to-the-park stage when she says to me, "Momma, do just need a minute?"
"I. Just. Need. A. Minute."
She looked a tad bit afraid but left me alone (for no more than 2 minutes.)
Later, we were getting ready to go to the park and we were having a struggle about a hat. You need a hat. No, I don't want one. Yes, you do - go pick one out. How about my ponytail hat? That is a winter hat - it will be too warm. BUT I WANT MY PONTAIL HAT! (Deep breath) Okay, fine. (what is the harm is she is too hot?)
But she didn't put that or any other hat on and we were at the get-a-hat-on-or-we-won't-go-to-the-park stage when she says to me, "Momma, do just need a minute?"
Off on the wrong foot...
I had one of those days today when I felt the girls were trying to break me.
Sandi and I both had an atrocious nights sleep. Maya was very unsettled and coughed so heartily that it had me up out of bed checking on her every 20 minutes. Sleep, cough, up, fall back in bed, hope it is the last time, trace the edge of sleep again, cough, pop out of bed... repeat...repeat. It was one of those nights that you wonder if you ever slept. Sandi left critically sleep deprived to take care of the critically ill.
I started my morning to take care of the critically cranky.
6:50 a.m., VERY challenging work-out completed (Yes, I rose at 5 to do it), Maya content in one of her baby stimulation contraptions, Ella still asleep, Trish (my every dedicated work-out partner) taking a shower and I am thinking, this is all good. I have time to get breakfast, feed Maya, make some much needed coffee that I now, out of necessity, acquired a taste for, and maybe even unload the dishwasher. Best laid plans... Ella wakes up (on the wrong side of the bed I might add), is furious that I have the blasted baby with me and cannot carry her, wrapped in a blanket, down the stairs. The morning took off from here.
Instead of the nitty gritty details, I will give you a snapshot looking at it through Tricia's eyes. A very hungry Suzanne trying to feed herself her growing-colder-by-the-minute eggs, hold Maya and trying to suction some very nasty things out of her nose that were coming in copious amounts thanks to the screaming, and tend to an equally upset Ella who was yelling at Maya "you stop crying!" Snot was flying in every direction, tears bouncing on the floor like fat, round jelly beans, and there was me taking deep, Yoga-inspired breaths, holding fast to every last thread of sanity. This lasted for close to half an hour. I actually did keep it together and manage to laugh - there was Ella, my opportunistic tantrum thrower, Maya, the clearly overstimulated thanks to her sister, Trish quietly eating her oatmeal and likely reviewing all possible escape routes in her mind, and me, the center of the chaos with about 3 consecutive hours of sleep and a day ahead of me.
My mom says someday I'll look back at my blog and think is funny how my life was all about kids and I had so little remaining awareness of life outside that. Yes, mom, you are right. But it won't be today.
P.S. It did improve with a trip to the park and lunch with a friend (with an equally cranky pre-schooler), our beloved baby sitters who came and took the girls so I could mow the lawn and start to weed the garden. I had said I wanted 1 hour outside. I got 58 minutes. Not bad.
Sandi and I both had an atrocious nights sleep. Maya was very unsettled and coughed so heartily that it had me up out of bed checking on her every 20 minutes. Sleep, cough, up, fall back in bed, hope it is the last time, trace the edge of sleep again, cough, pop out of bed... repeat...repeat. It was one of those nights that you wonder if you ever slept. Sandi left critically sleep deprived to take care of the critically ill.
I started my morning to take care of the critically cranky.
6:50 a.m., VERY challenging work-out completed (Yes, I rose at 5 to do it), Maya content in one of her baby stimulation contraptions, Ella still asleep, Trish (my every dedicated work-out partner) taking a shower and I am thinking, this is all good. I have time to get breakfast, feed Maya, make some much needed coffee that I now, out of necessity, acquired a taste for, and maybe even unload the dishwasher. Best laid plans... Ella wakes up (on the wrong side of the bed I might add), is furious that I have the blasted baby with me and cannot carry her, wrapped in a blanket, down the stairs. The morning took off from here.
Instead of the nitty gritty details, I will give you a snapshot looking at it through Tricia's eyes. A very hungry Suzanne trying to feed herself her growing-colder-by-the-minute eggs, hold Maya and trying to suction some very nasty things out of her nose that were coming in copious amounts thanks to the screaming, and tend to an equally upset Ella who was yelling at Maya "you stop crying!" Snot was flying in every direction, tears bouncing on the floor like fat, round jelly beans, and there was me taking deep, Yoga-inspired breaths, holding fast to every last thread of sanity. This lasted for close to half an hour. I actually did keep it together and manage to laugh - there was Ella, my opportunistic tantrum thrower, Maya, the clearly overstimulated thanks to her sister, Trish quietly eating her oatmeal and likely reviewing all possible escape routes in her mind, and me, the center of the chaos with about 3 consecutive hours of sleep and a day ahead of me.
My mom says someday I'll look back at my blog and think is funny how my life was all about kids and I had so little remaining awareness of life outside that. Yes, mom, you are right. But it won't be today.
P.S. It did improve with a trip to the park and lunch with a friend (with an equally cranky pre-schooler), our beloved baby sitters who came and took the girls so I could mow the lawn and start to weed the garden. I had said I wanted 1 hour outside. I got 58 minutes. Not bad.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Our Child Prodigy
Ella was asking for some music the other day. We decided on a new "Piano for Playtime" CD we had purchased months ago and hadn't yet opened. It is chock full of the classic composers and Ella, much to our delight, has an affinity for this type of music.
The CD is three tracks in when Ella pauses, thinks for a moment, then asks, "Is this Mozart?"
WHAT??
We looked on the CD back and sure enough- Mozart. It must be all the Baby Einstein.
Then she starts saying things like this, "Maybe my cousins Michaela and Brevan could come over to listen with me 'cuz listening to Mozart is so much fun!"
Drop everything and call Julliard. Ask about early enrollment.
Today, Ella has requested her Mozart piece again. She has cleared the living room rug of all toys, donned her polka-dot twirly dress, pink tights, LL Bean hiking shoes, pink bow in hair and pink fairy wings on her back. I put them on askew and she was aware of the problem instantly when the wings didn't fall properly. Meanwhile, Maya is screaming her cute, q-ball head off while Ella is sweetly giving instructions for the next part of the outfit- now the tights, Momma and don't forget the bow... Finally, we are almost assembled and she says, "Let's put on Mozart, it might help" and I think she is going to say help Maya feel better, "fix my wings."
Is there no end to Mozart's magic?
As she begins her dance (and requests her song on repeat) she informs me that all the "kids" are with her, wearing their dresses, and dancing behind her. Apparently every good Diva needs some background dancers. She twirls in circles, arms full of stuffed animals, and as the music hits a melodic creshendo, she springs the animals free from her arms, projecting them into every corner of the living room. "See? I'm doing cool circuit (a.k.a. circus) tricks like the dogs at the circus." What will she think up next?
The CD is three tracks in when Ella pauses, thinks for a moment, then asks, "Is this Mozart?"
WHAT??
We looked on the CD back and sure enough- Mozart. It must be all the Baby Einstein.
Then she starts saying things like this, "Maybe my cousins Michaela and Brevan could come over to listen with me 'cuz listening to Mozart is so much fun!"
Drop everything and call Julliard. Ask about early enrollment.
Today, Ella has requested her Mozart piece again. She has cleared the living room rug of all toys, donned her polka-dot twirly dress, pink tights, LL Bean hiking shoes, pink bow in hair and pink fairy wings on her back. I put them on askew and she was aware of the problem instantly when the wings didn't fall properly. Meanwhile, Maya is screaming her cute, q-ball head off while Ella is sweetly giving instructions for the next part of the outfit- now the tights, Momma and don't forget the bow... Finally, we are almost assembled and she says, "Let's put on Mozart, it might help" and I think she is going to say help Maya feel better, "fix my wings."
Is there no end to Mozart's magic?
As she begins her dance (and requests her song on repeat) she informs me that all the "kids" are with her, wearing their dresses, and dancing behind her. Apparently every good Diva needs some background dancers. She twirls in circles, arms full of stuffed animals, and as the music hits a melodic creshendo, she springs the animals free from her arms, projecting them into every corner of the living room. "See? I'm doing cool circuit (a.k.a. circus) tricks like the dogs at the circus." What will she think up next?
Saturday, May 3, 2008
the weak in review
It has been a week of sick, sicker and sickest. Ella one the prize Tuesday through Thursday and Maya picked up the slack on Friday with screams that had us surprised someone didn't come over and see what we were doing to harm our baby. We finished with a Friday evening trip to Walk-In Care. And to think others were out having drinks and dinner.
Some snapshots of our week:
- Sandi went to Home Depot to get a pine door for the investment house (which henceforth I will refer to as the Savage St. house since it is on Savage St. in Bangor). It was improperly marked and, although Sandi told the cashier it was stocked under the sign that said $74 and even though she gave her the correct dimensions of the door, the cashier decided to charge her $13. She said there were so many doors listed in the computer and she didn't know which it was so she gave her the cheapest price. We are so loving the Home Depot moving sale.
- Ella informed everyone that she had a bad cough and was indeed very sick. She needed constant monitoring not to wipe what she began to call her "snotty snot" all over the furniture, Maya's blankets, or anything fabric. I found myself saying, as Emilie once commented she never thought she'd hear herself say it, "Ella, wipe your nose on your shirt instead of on the couch."
- When I took Maya to Walk-In Care, the place was deserted (everyone was having the aforementioned dinner and cocktails) and we got right in. The nurse did her initial interview and vitals and then asked if she could hold the baby. I assumed this to be for medical reasons, assessment and such, that is until she opened the door and announced, "I'm going to go show her off." Luckily by then she had gotten Tylenol and Ibuprofen and had stopped crying. The nurses cooed over her and commented that she looked like a Gerber Baby. The doctor, who also had nothing to do, was prompt and kind and even recognized our name from the article in the paper and asked me about it. Turns out Maya had fluid in her ear, caused by the cold which she got from Ella wiping her snotty snot on everything, and it can be very painful. We were on our way 30 minutes after arrival with numbing drops, license to use pain medication freely and a "your moms are doing a great job" compliment said to Maya but aimed at me. You can never hear that too many times.
- Ella was playing with her rice table and she, very intentionally, dumped a bunch of rice on the floor. Emerson has a tendency to do this often which earns him a prompt time-out. Ella is not really familiar with the time-out, except as a by-stander. She told me of the unfortunate rice-on-the-floor situation and informed me that she needed a time-out. She put herself on the couch and told me to tell her when she could get off.
- I caught the cold too and was reminded, unnecessarily I might add, that being sick and taking care of kids sucks. On Friday, I opted to go to work instead, which left Sandi with one recovering Ella and a getting-worse-by-the-minute Maya, but I told her it is more restful for me to massage. That is no joke.
- Ella was watching "Dora the Explorer" (she watched her quota of TV this week as well as the quota for all the kids on our street) and asked me the following, "Why are Dora and Boots outside so much?" (with a hint of jealousy) and then "Where are their parents and why don't they have to be careful for cars?" (with a hint of incredulity.)
- At around 7:20 a.m. on one of the days of this past week, a young girl on her way to school was driving down Wheelden Heights, took her eyes off the road in search of something, veered off the road, into our drainage ditch, around the back side of our mailbox, across our driveway, into the ditch on the other side and managed to correct and get back on the road. I am not exaggerating when I say that this couldn't be replicated easily by an experienced driver going at the speed she must have been traveling. She fit her car between our mailbox and our thick metal water access pipe with mere inches to spare. Luckily, she was unscathed, just rightly a bit disturbed.
- Our lovely friends, who have decided to get married after 10 years of being together and who have two adorable children the same ages as ours, have asked Sandi to photograph their wedding. What a huge compliment! The wedding is a really low-key private affair taking place on Cadillac Mountain at sunrise in July. And... we get to go stay overnight in Bar Harbor -ALONE!
- We had a week of such miniscule sleep, with the girls being up every few hours sick and Maya staying up for chunks of the night crying, Sandi called into work on Saturday and we all stayed home and had a quiet and relatively restful day. The girls and I are in much better states of health and Sandi went to work with the sniffles today. What are you going to do?
Some snapshots of our week:
- Sandi went to Home Depot to get a pine door for the investment house (which henceforth I will refer to as the Savage St. house since it is on Savage St. in Bangor). It was improperly marked and, although Sandi told the cashier it was stocked under the sign that said $74 and even though she gave her the correct dimensions of the door, the cashier decided to charge her $13. She said there were so many doors listed in the computer and she didn't know which it was so she gave her the cheapest price. We are so loving the Home Depot moving sale.
- Ella informed everyone that she had a bad cough and was indeed very sick. She needed constant monitoring not to wipe what she began to call her "snotty snot" all over the furniture, Maya's blankets, or anything fabric. I found myself saying, as Emilie once commented she never thought she'd hear herself say it, "Ella, wipe your nose on your shirt instead of on the couch."
- When I took Maya to Walk-In Care, the place was deserted (everyone was having the aforementioned dinner and cocktails) and we got right in. The nurse did her initial interview and vitals and then asked if she could hold the baby. I assumed this to be for medical reasons, assessment and such, that is until she opened the door and announced, "I'm going to go show her off." Luckily by then she had gotten Tylenol and Ibuprofen and had stopped crying. The nurses cooed over her and commented that she looked like a Gerber Baby. The doctor, who also had nothing to do, was prompt and kind and even recognized our name from the article in the paper and asked me about it. Turns out Maya had fluid in her ear, caused by the cold which she got from Ella wiping her snotty snot on everything, and it can be very painful. We were on our way 30 minutes after arrival with numbing drops, license to use pain medication freely and a "your moms are doing a great job" compliment said to Maya but aimed at me. You can never hear that too many times.
- Ella was playing with her rice table and she, very intentionally, dumped a bunch of rice on the floor. Emerson has a tendency to do this often which earns him a prompt time-out. Ella is not really familiar with the time-out, except as a by-stander. She told me of the unfortunate rice-on-the-floor situation and informed me that she needed a time-out. She put herself on the couch and told me to tell her when she could get off.
- I caught the cold too and was reminded, unnecessarily I might add, that being sick and taking care of kids sucks. On Friday, I opted to go to work instead, which left Sandi with one recovering Ella and a getting-worse-by-the-minute Maya, but I told her it is more restful for me to massage. That is no joke.
- Ella was watching "Dora the Explorer" (she watched her quota of TV this week as well as the quota for all the kids on our street) and asked me the following, "Why are Dora and Boots outside so much?" (with a hint of jealousy) and then "Where are their parents and why don't they have to be careful for cars?" (with a hint of incredulity.)
- At around 7:20 a.m. on one of the days of this past week, a young girl on her way to school was driving down Wheelden Heights, took her eyes off the road in search of something, veered off the road, into our drainage ditch, around the back side of our mailbox, across our driveway, into the ditch on the other side and managed to correct and get back on the road. I am not exaggerating when I say that this couldn't be replicated easily by an experienced driver going at the speed she must have been traveling. She fit her car between our mailbox and our thick metal water access pipe with mere inches to spare. Luckily, she was unscathed, just rightly a bit disturbed.
- Our lovely friends, who have decided to get married after 10 years of being together and who have two adorable children the same ages as ours, have asked Sandi to photograph their wedding. What a huge compliment! The wedding is a really low-key private affair taking place on Cadillac Mountain at sunrise in July. And... we get to go stay overnight in Bar Harbor -ALONE!
- We had a week of such miniscule sleep, with the girls being up every few hours sick and Maya staying up for chunks of the night crying, Sandi called into work on Saturday and we all stayed home and had a quiet and relatively restful day. The girls and I are in much better states of health and Sandi went to work with the sniffles today. What are you going to do?
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Leaving the nest?
This morning Ella and I were eating breakfast, just the two of us. A school bus drove by and she asked,"Momma, will I ever get to ride on a school bus?"
Oh, my. The thoughts that flooded in- yes, only too soon. No we'll never make you ride on that bully machine where kids get lost and left and the bus drivers should be characters in a Steven King novel. No, you will never go to school; we are going to keep you with us forever. No, honey, you won't need one because you will be home schooled (don't laugh we haven't fully ruled that one out.) No, because you will probably go to Montessori school. On and on these went, the balance of thoughts being a resounding no. But really, the sucker punch to my stomach was of our little girl being big enough to even go somewhere on a bus without us. How could she be contemplating jumping ship already?
"Sure, honey. You'll go on a school bus someday." This was the safest, least emotionally damaging, and largely true answer I could give. Of course, at some point in time she'll go on a school bus. Like taking one from the Bangor Auditorium down to the Waterfront for the Folk Festival in August.
And then... "Momma, will you go with me?"
Oh, my. The thoughts that flooded in- yes, only too soon. No we'll never make you ride on that bully machine where kids get lost and left and the bus drivers should be characters in a Steven King novel. No, you will never go to school; we are going to keep you with us forever. No, honey, you won't need one because you will be home schooled (don't laugh we haven't fully ruled that one out.) No, because you will probably go to Montessori school. On and on these went, the balance of thoughts being a resounding no. But really, the sucker punch to my stomach was of our little girl being big enough to even go somewhere on a bus without us. How could she be contemplating jumping ship already?
"Sure, honey. You'll go on a school bus someday." This was the safest, least emotionally damaging, and largely true answer I could give. Of course, at some point in time she'll go on a school bus. Like taking one from the Bangor Auditorium down to the Waterfront for the Folk Festival in August.
And then... "Momma, will you go with me?"
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Rainy Day
When thinking of a good rainy day activity, one may consider the museum, a matinee, or perhaps a trip to the mall. For us? Why not just stay home sick?
I find myself begging for sleep every night by 9 p.m. and 5 a.m (with one wake-up from Maya in between) comes early. This seems like it should be enough sleep. Last night, in between those precious hours, my slumber was interupted three times by Ella and three times by Maya (only one of which she actually got up and needed to eat.) Of course, none of these was timed to match up. This morning at 5, Ella woke up throwing up. Lovely.
I think it is just a cold with a sore throat and she got coughing and gagging and she has a low threshold gag reflex. But, nevertheless, we are in today and had to cancel our trip to the library and a visit at the McKay's house this afternoon.
I found myself literally stumbling around this morning in exhaustion, hunting like a dog with my nose to the ground for some caffeine to give me a jump start. I managed to get the girls both back to sleep at 8 am and caught a desperately needed 45 more minutes of sleep. While my handiwork to get them to sleep simultaneoulsy was actively being thwarted by both girls, I found myself at one point on the floor in between the crib and the bed (Maya was in her crib, Ella in our bed) relaxing in child's pose (knees on the floor, bum on heels, arms outstretched in front) and I actually fell asleep for a second. Until Ella roused me. No sleeping on the job.
The irony is that last night I got them both to sleep by 6:30 pm (Ella had had a busy day with no nap) and I enjoyed a magical hour on my own- cleaning up dishes, making phone calls, making dinner, reorganizing the house from an active day. And to think I used to relax with a glass of wine and my feet up. Adding wine to the equation would ensure a sleeping Suzanne within 10 minutes. No drinking on the job, either. Is it any wonder I turn to chocolate?
P.S. Sandi and I did get out on a date this Saturday. My mom came up to babysit and we had a lovely dinner at Thistle's (our favorite) and then what romantic activity did we embark on? A trip to Home Depot to buy appliances for our investment house while they were instock and on sale. I know, truly and really gay as my mom said. What can I say? We had a super fun time up there and, by some lovely unexpected events and an incredibly nice sales associate, we got an entire floor for the house for $17.84 instead of $408. Now this is a good time. They don't call it the Homo Depot for nothing.
I find myself begging for sleep every night by 9 p.m. and 5 a.m (with one wake-up from Maya in between) comes early. This seems like it should be enough sleep. Last night, in between those precious hours, my slumber was interupted three times by Ella and three times by Maya (only one of which she actually got up and needed to eat.) Of course, none of these was timed to match up. This morning at 5, Ella woke up throwing up. Lovely.
I think it is just a cold with a sore throat and she got coughing and gagging and she has a low threshold gag reflex. But, nevertheless, we are in today and had to cancel our trip to the library and a visit at the McKay's house this afternoon.
I found myself literally stumbling around this morning in exhaustion, hunting like a dog with my nose to the ground for some caffeine to give me a jump start. I managed to get the girls both back to sleep at 8 am and caught a desperately needed 45 more minutes of sleep. While my handiwork to get them to sleep simultaneoulsy was actively being thwarted by both girls, I found myself at one point on the floor in between the crib and the bed (Maya was in her crib, Ella in our bed) relaxing in child's pose (knees on the floor, bum on heels, arms outstretched in front) and I actually fell asleep for a second. Until Ella roused me. No sleeping on the job.
The irony is that last night I got them both to sleep by 6:30 pm (Ella had had a busy day with no nap) and I enjoyed a magical hour on my own- cleaning up dishes, making phone calls, making dinner, reorganizing the house from an active day. And to think I used to relax with a glass of wine and my feet up. Adding wine to the equation would ensure a sleeping Suzanne within 10 minutes. No drinking on the job, either. Is it any wonder I turn to chocolate?
P.S. Sandi and I did get out on a date this Saturday. My mom came up to babysit and we had a lovely dinner at Thistle's (our favorite) and then what romantic activity did we embark on? A trip to Home Depot to buy appliances for our investment house while they were instock and on sale. I know, truly and really gay as my mom said. What can I say? We had a super fun time up there and, by some lovely unexpected events and an incredibly nice sales associate, we got an entire floor for the house for $17.84 instead of $408. Now this is a good time. They don't call it the Homo Depot for nothing.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
the adventures of a modern mom
All the park hopping, bubble blowing, spring cleaning (attempting) and general adventure of the Carver girls (at least this mom and the two girls - the other mom has been holed up at EMMC for days on end taking care of the neverending line of sick people as Ella says) has kept us out and about with nary a moment for a blog entry. I wonder sometimes if Ella thinks that it is some sort of goal or competition to see how much we can cram into one day. Will she grow up thinking "Carpe Diem!" or "God, I wish I could just sit down but my mother won't let me!"?
I can't remember a more spectacular April. We have no mud season! The snow melted and absorbed leaving only brown grass to green and tulips and daffodils to flourish. It is allegedly going to be in the 70's again today. I know spring is here when I can sit at the park and listen to David Bowie resounding from the speakers of a passing truck with the windows rolled down, driving very slowly, for all the world to share. I would have preferred some "YMCA" if it was for all of humanity to share in a musical moment, but hey....
Yesterday was one of those days where things just don't quite hit their mark and all you can do, if you want to maintain your sanity, is sit back and laugh. I had to drop off a check at the Bangor Hydro Credit Union so power could be turned on to our investment house. I was in the process of begging the lady to accept my payment through the drive-up instead of making me come in and unstrap my kids out of their seats when she pulled the drawer back in unexpectedly. My hand was barely on the check and, through some freak of physics, it got sucked into the mechanical part of the conveyor. We tried scissors, a letter opener, my bare hand- all to no avail. I could see her behind the window muttering (she had muted the sound through the speaker) but I can read lips and "shit" was being used freely inside the confines of the credit union. Meanwhile, Emilie and her kids were waiting for me in the parking lot as we were caravaning to the park. I finally told her to just rip it up when, and if, she retrived it and I would get another check.
Emilie and I took the kids to the park for a "picnic" which consisted of her chasing Skyler and Reed around, me feeding Maya and trying to manage Ella on the baby swing she insists on still and popping food into our kids mouths as they flew by. Ella unwittingly ran into the street causing a strong terror reaction from me and her subsequent tears and presumable shame at my reaction. Fortunately, the women from the credit union called to say they had retrieved my check and all was well. When we left the park to go home (trying to leave early to avoid any meltdowns) both my girls ended up in tears (Ella was involved in an unwanted chasing incident) and Emilie I wrangeld our kids in the cars commenting that we had not one full conversation the entire time.
We drove to the box office at the auditorium to get tickets for the circus this weekend, Emilie staying next to my car with the windows down so I wouldn't have to get the kids out to purchase the tickets. In some prehistoric act of foiling a mother's plan of multi-tasking, the box office would not accept a debit or credit card for the tickets and I was short $9 in cash and left without the tickets.
After both kids were down for a nap (Maya slept for 10 minutes), my phone rang. I looked at the caller ID and saw that it was my cell phone. Oh, crap. I answered the phone, "I've lost my phone, haven't I?" and a nice woman said, "Yes, I just found it in the grass at Fairmount park." Is it any wonder? This mom, who happened to live a few streets down and clearly knew how a day of a frazzled mom could go, dropped my phone off for me at my house. I love Maine where kindness and helpfullness overshadow any presence of theft or selfishness.
Perhaps the highlight of the day was that Ella found her MIA stuffed kitty, the one presumed abducted, the one that I hiked halfway back up Chick Hill for last year when Ella inadvertently left it on the rock ledge and cried "KITTY!" so feriously that I ran most of the way to return the animal faster. Needless to say, we had quite a reunion party for kitty.
I guess it doesn't matter too much to me if things go wrong. What I most appreciate is that the solution is right on the heels of the problem.
Looking forward to the week ahead: Mochy's 9th birthday party, more parks (is this more fun for me or Ella?) the circus, Beckett's birthday party, a visit from friends who we never get to see and MAYBE even a date for Sandi and I. Will wonders ever cease?
I can't remember a more spectacular April. We have no mud season! The snow melted and absorbed leaving only brown grass to green and tulips and daffodils to flourish. It is allegedly going to be in the 70's again today. I know spring is here when I can sit at the park and listen to David Bowie resounding from the speakers of a passing truck with the windows rolled down, driving very slowly, for all the world to share. I would have preferred some "YMCA" if it was for all of humanity to share in a musical moment, but hey....
Yesterday was one of those days where things just don't quite hit their mark and all you can do, if you want to maintain your sanity, is sit back and laugh. I had to drop off a check at the Bangor Hydro Credit Union so power could be turned on to our investment house. I was in the process of begging the lady to accept my payment through the drive-up instead of making me come in and unstrap my kids out of their seats when she pulled the drawer back in unexpectedly. My hand was barely on the check and, through some freak of physics, it got sucked into the mechanical part of the conveyor. We tried scissors, a letter opener, my bare hand- all to no avail. I could see her behind the window muttering (she had muted the sound through the speaker) but I can read lips and "shit" was being used freely inside the confines of the credit union. Meanwhile, Emilie and her kids were waiting for me in the parking lot as we were caravaning to the park. I finally told her to just rip it up when, and if, she retrived it and I would get another check.
Emilie and I took the kids to the park for a "picnic" which consisted of her chasing Skyler and Reed around, me feeding Maya and trying to manage Ella on the baby swing she insists on still and popping food into our kids mouths as they flew by. Ella unwittingly ran into the street causing a strong terror reaction from me and her subsequent tears and presumable shame at my reaction. Fortunately, the women from the credit union called to say they had retrieved my check and all was well. When we left the park to go home (trying to leave early to avoid any meltdowns) both my girls ended up in tears (Ella was involved in an unwanted chasing incident) and Emilie I wrangeld our kids in the cars commenting that we had not one full conversation the entire time.
We drove to the box office at the auditorium to get tickets for the circus this weekend, Emilie staying next to my car with the windows down so I wouldn't have to get the kids out to purchase the tickets. In some prehistoric act of foiling a mother's plan of multi-tasking, the box office would not accept a debit or credit card for the tickets and I was short $9 in cash and left without the tickets.
After both kids were down for a nap (Maya slept for 10 minutes), my phone rang. I looked at the caller ID and saw that it was my cell phone. Oh, crap. I answered the phone, "I've lost my phone, haven't I?" and a nice woman said, "Yes, I just found it in the grass at Fairmount park." Is it any wonder? This mom, who happened to live a few streets down and clearly knew how a day of a frazzled mom could go, dropped my phone off for me at my house. I love Maine where kindness and helpfullness overshadow any presence of theft or selfishness.
Perhaps the highlight of the day was that Ella found her MIA stuffed kitty, the one presumed abducted, the one that I hiked halfway back up Chick Hill for last year when Ella inadvertently left it on the rock ledge and cried "KITTY!" so feriously that I ran most of the way to return the animal faster. Needless to say, we had quite a reunion party for kitty.
I guess it doesn't matter too much to me if things go wrong. What I most appreciate is that the solution is right on the heels of the problem.
Looking forward to the week ahead: Mochy's 9th birthday party, more parks (is this more fun for me or Ella?) the circus, Beckett's birthday party, a visit from friends who we never get to see and MAYBE even a date for Sandi and I. Will wonders ever cease?
Friday, April 18, 2008
Sandi's hotline
No, not a 1-900 number.
Sandi, overtired and overwhelmed at work the other day, was nearing the end of a long shift in the ICU when the phone rang. She answered it, naturally. It was an outside call (meaning not from other hospital staff.) Now imagine who might be calling ICU. Yes, you guessed it- a family member of a critical patient. Sandi, in all her professionalism and summoning every available neuron for this not-so-challenging task, answers the call. And this is what comes out.
"ICU, this is Sandi, can you help me?"
Sandi, overtired and overwhelmed at work the other day, was nearing the end of a long shift in the ICU when the phone rang. She answered it, naturally. It was an outside call (meaning not from other hospital staff.) Now imagine who might be calling ICU. Yes, you guessed it- a family member of a critical patient. Sandi, in all her professionalism and summoning every available neuron for this not-so-challenging task, answers the call. And this is what comes out.
"ICU, this is Sandi, can you help me?"
Friday, April 11, 2008
Caffeine and Crocuses
The first crocuses are blooming!! They are a gorgeous deep purple and they take my breath away. I showed Ella and she was equally as excited- so much that she had her baby doll smell them and then ran over to me only to scoot back after she realized she hadn't smelled them herself.
Maya has had a stretch of days of waking for the day at 4:30 a.m. Sandi is beyond exhausted with her long days and nighttime feedings (yes, after 3 consecutive nights of sleeping all night, Maya has resorted to 1-2 times a night again- we are hoping for a turnaround soon.). I have been working out with Trish doing this hardcore 6 day per week, 75-90 minute a day exercise program (for anyone who has seen the infomercial it's P90X.) Likely, you won't even recognize me when you see because I'll be so fit.
Caffeine has been a necessary part of my day. Today I got my first iced coffee of the season! It is a strange story, actually. I don't like coffee. I tell people I don't drink coffee. But I love iced coffee. Really I like milk with coffee flavor and plenty of sweet. Anyway, the girls and I were out with the sunroof open, sippin' some iced coffee and apple juice in a sippy cup, and playground hopping. We also flew Ella's kite yesterday (which she has been asking to do once a week since Christmas) and there are no photos of that because I was managing Maya in the bjorn, Mochy on the leash and the kite. The wind was so strong that it snapped the flimsy string but we had so much fun. I love spring!
Ella and Sklyer- what buddies!
Sklyer loved climbing on everything. She informed me the rope climb wasn't for Ella. "She would be too scared," she told me. She's right. But Ella doesn't mind that Skyler will be ready to mount Kilamanjaro next week. She was happy on the slide.
Maya has been eating lots of new foods. This is her introduction to prunes. She actually liked it but it was nearing bedtime and she tends to unravel. Ella thought it was chocolate and had to have a taste. Can you imagine the disappointment?
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Lost and Found
I had a dream last night that I lost Ella. I dropped her off somewhere and didn't check that the people were home. Hours went by and then I saw the people and they apologized for not being home. I began to panic as I realized what had happened and no one would listen to me. I was searching frantically and the only one who would help me was Sandi's dad. In the dream, Sandi was at work and I actually thought, she'll kill me when she finds out.
We went to a hospital and they said there was a little girl who was hiding under a table and had been for hours despite their coaxing. I ran to her, knowing it was Ella. My heart shattered into a thousand pieces when I saw her balled up, hiding under the table. It took her a beat to recognize me- she was a younger Ella, maybe just two. But when she did, she launched herself into my arms and the emotion that flooded through me is like none I have ever felt, ever. We sat there, locked together, for an eternity and I woke up sobbing.
I have been overwhelmed lately by the brevity of her young childhood. She is expressing such mature ideas and grasping truly global ideas. All day, after waking from that dream, I just want to soak in every single morsel of her. Today, in our beautiful spring weather, she rode her bike on our road for the first time with me and Maya in the stroller alongside her. She told me her bunny should really get outside and enjoy the beautiful day. She appreciated a bud on a tree in the park for the first time. She is going to preschool next year. She talks everyday about her family, all the members in it both immediate and extended, and how much she loves them and wants to see them. She wants to know if our cat misses her sister who died a year and a half ago.
Tonight when I put her to bed, I wrapped my arms tight around her and told her I was going to stay latched on to her forever. My arms ache at the thought of not being able to pick her up and snuggle her close. I can't comprehend what a mother's arms do when they are absent of a child in them. I don't understand how her heart heals as her baby grows into an adult, never to look back. I don't know how to let her know how I feel when "I love you" seems incredibly insufficient. As I had my arms muckled a hold of her, I told her it would be difficult but I would stay attached forever and she would have to flip extra hard in gymnastics to get us both over the bar, she would have to squeeze over in her car seat so we could both fit and I would try to make myself as small as possible so I could fit on her bike with her. She looked at me, alarmed, and said, "But it will break." And so might my heart when she doesn't need me anymore.
We went to a hospital and they said there was a little girl who was hiding under a table and had been for hours despite their coaxing. I ran to her, knowing it was Ella. My heart shattered into a thousand pieces when I saw her balled up, hiding under the table. It took her a beat to recognize me- she was a younger Ella, maybe just two. But when she did, she launched herself into my arms and the emotion that flooded through me is like none I have ever felt, ever. We sat there, locked together, for an eternity and I woke up sobbing.
I have been overwhelmed lately by the brevity of her young childhood. She is expressing such mature ideas and grasping truly global ideas. All day, after waking from that dream, I just want to soak in every single morsel of her. Today, in our beautiful spring weather, she rode her bike on our road for the first time with me and Maya in the stroller alongside her. She told me her bunny should really get outside and enjoy the beautiful day. She appreciated a bud on a tree in the park for the first time. She is going to preschool next year. She talks everyday about her family, all the members in it both immediate and extended, and how much she loves them and wants to see them. She wants to know if our cat misses her sister who died a year and a half ago.
Tonight when I put her to bed, I wrapped my arms tight around her and told her I was going to stay latched on to her forever. My arms ache at the thought of not being able to pick her up and snuggle her close. I can't comprehend what a mother's arms do when they are absent of a child in them. I don't understand how her heart heals as her baby grows into an adult, never to look back. I don't know how to let her know how I feel when "I love you" seems incredibly insufficient. As I had my arms muckled a hold of her, I told her it would be difficult but I would stay attached forever and she would have to flip extra hard in gymnastics to get us both over the bar, she would have to squeeze over in her car seat so we could both fit and I would try to make myself as small as possible so I could fit on her bike with her. She looked at me, alarmed, and said, "But it will break." And so might my heart when she doesn't need me anymore.
Monday, April 7, 2008
Dear Ella
My Dearest Ella,
I know that these moments when you are little, but not so little anymore, are really just a snapshot of your life rather than the permanent state they sometimes seem to be. I know that someday we will be having serious discussions about how to make responsible decisions in the face of social pressure instead of serious talks about manners and respect. There are so many things I want you to take from this time of your life and I struggle most days to make sure my actions serve my intentions. Sometimes I deserve 100 pats on the back while other moments I cringe to hear the words that fly out of my mouth and I resolve to do it better next time. The good news is that I do -that I am working with herculean effort to become an ever better and more enlightened person mostly so that I can be a better mom to you.
What I want for you to know, the essence of all my intentions for this time of your life boiled down to some specifics, is as varied as it is challenging for me to maintain day to day. I want you to feel the freedom of spirit that allows you to run with your head tilted back, mouth open releasing a screech of delight, and legs flung every which way as the pure exhilaration of life pulses through your veins. I want you to know love, so deep down in your core that it is never questioned, is mapped out in every cell in your ever growing and changing body. I want you to have a life so blessed that as you look ahead, you expect goodness and you know the fullness and wonder life has to offer you at every turn. I want you to appreciate with awe the incredible world around you, from the magic of the trees budding in the spring to the transformation of a caterpillar into a butterfly. I want you to climb to a mountaintop and understand that you are visitor here but that all your actions and words matter. I want you to always have the self-assurance and unshakable confidence that prompts you to where anything from pajamas to a tulle princess dress to the grocery store. I want you to have a profound respect for the spirit of living things, from the ladybug who crawls on our window to a loved one in need of a hug or a gentle word. I want you to have the stubbornness to not let anyone push you around (even me) when their agenda is against what you know to be true in your heart. I want you to love with complete abandon and to experience everything to the fullest.
I want you to know that being your mom is the best and most privileged title I have ever held, that you have reminded me of the magic of life and the blessed experience of living, that you are a beautiful spirit and a gift to this world, that I love you in unimaginable ways.
There is so much I want you to know, dearest one. The incredible part is, you already do. Sometimes I mistakenly think that I am the teacher when it has been you all along. And this is what I hope to remember as you grow into the amazing person you came here to be.
I love you with all that I am, Momma
I know that these moments when you are little, but not so little anymore, are really just a snapshot of your life rather than the permanent state they sometimes seem to be. I know that someday we will be having serious discussions about how to make responsible decisions in the face of social pressure instead of serious talks about manners and respect. There are so many things I want you to take from this time of your life and I struggle most days to make sure my actions serve my intentions. Sometimes I deserve 100 pats on the back while other moments I cringe to hear the words that fly out of my mouth and I resolve to do it better next time. The good news is that I do -that I am working with herculean effort to become an ever better and more enlightened person mostly so that I can be a better mom to you.
What I want for you to know, the essence of all my intentions for this time of your life boiled down to some specifics, is as varied as it is challenging for me to maintain day to day. I want you to feel the freedom of spirit that allows you to run with your head tilted back, mouth open releasing a screech of delight, and legs flung every which way as the pure exhilaration of life pulses through your veins. I want you to know love, so deep down in your core that it is never questioned, is mapped out in every cell in your ever growing and changing body. I want you to have a life so blessed that as you look ahead, you expect goodness and you know the fullness and wonder life has to offer you at every turn. I want you to appreciate with awe the incredible world around you, from the magic of the trees budding in the spring to the transformation of a caterpillar into a butterfly. I want you to climb to a mountaintop and understand that you are visitor here but that all your actions and words matter. I want you to always have the self-assurance and unshakable confidence that prompts you to where anything from pajamas to a tulle princess dress to the grocery store. I want you to have a profound respect for the spirit of living things, from the ladybug who crawls on our window to a loved one in need of a hug or a gentle word. I want you to have the stubbornness to not let anyone push you around (even me) when their agenda is against what you know to be true in your heart. I want you to love with complete abandon and to experience everything to the fullest.
I want you to know that being your mom is the best and most privileged title I have ever held, that you have reminded me of the magic of life and the blessed experience of living, that you are a beautiful spirit and a gift to this world, that I love you in unimaginable ways.
There is so much I want you to know, dearest one. The incredible part is, you already do. Sometimes I mistakenly think that I am the teacher when it has been you all along. And this is what I hope to remember as you grow into the amazing person you came here to be.
I love you with all that I am, Momma
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Bring on the blonde jokes
My hair is fixed!! Hooray for me. Ella says, "Momma, your hair is light again!" I am soooo relieved and I got a great new haircut to match. I didn't actually take any pictures of the brunette Suzanne so, other than cataloging it here, I will likely erase it from my memory.By the way, thanks for the stories. They made me laugh.
I'm sure you've missed them so I've collected some of Ella's latest funnies:
"Momma, what restaurant is that?"
"Chili's."
"It must be cold in there."
The mailman delivered a replacement piece for Ella's train set. She says to me later that night, "I like the mailman. He is a good toy bringer."
Ella was telling Tia about how her toe nails are painted pink. She says, "They used to be purple but I wanted pink and the Easter bunny brought it for me. The Easter bunny knows just what a I like." Yes, he and Santa are in constant communication.
Ella was helping me with the laundry last night and here is her perspective (which I should try adopting): "Look at all the bubbles!" "It's like a water fountain in here!" "Doing laundry is fun!"
Ella tries to play Red Light, Green Light with Mochy. Needless to say, Mochy doesn't always play by the rules and Ella will come to us and complain, "I'm trying to play with her but she won't stop when I say red light." Poor Mochy.
Despite some disagreement between her moms, Ella finds herself in the position of needing to work a bit harder for things she loves. Specifically, because of the regression of Ella pooping in her pants, we (I) have instituted a reward system for when she does. The reward? TV. Yep, hard core, I know. I am SO tired of cleaning it up. I thought for sure this would be a one day thing because Ella loves TV (much to my dismay sometimes) but we are on day three with nothing too promising on the horizon. She asked for a pull-up today. She is 3 1/2. This is about control not about physical ability, right???
I'm sure you've missed them so I've collected some of Ella's latest funnies:
"Momma, what restaurant is that?"
"Chili's."
"It must be cold in there."
The mailman delivered a replacement piece for Ella's train set. She says to me later that night, "I like the mailman. He is a good toy bringer."
Ella was telling Tia about how her toe nails are painted pink. She says, "They used to be purple but I wanted pink and the Easter bunny brought it for me. The Easter bunny knows just what a I like." Yes, he and Santa are in constant communication.
Ella was helping me with the laundry last night and here is her perspective (which I should try adopting): "Look at all the bubbles!" "It's like a water fountain in here!" "Doing laundry is fun!"
Ella tries to play Red Light, Green Light with Mochy. Needless to say, Mochy doesn't always play by the rules and Ella will come to us and complain, "I'm trying to play with her but she won't stop when I say red light." Poor Mochy.
Despite some disagreement between her moms, Ella finds herself in the position of needing to work a bit harder for things she loves. Specifically, because of the regression of Ella pooping in her pants, we (I) have instituted a reward system for when she does. The reward? TV. Yep, hard core, I know. I am SO tired of cleaning it up. I thought for sure this would be a one day thing because Ella loves TV (much to my dismay sometimes) but we are on day three with nothing too promising on the horizon. She asked for a pull-up today. She is 3 1/2. This is about control not about physical ability, right???
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Brunettes and Burgers
Okay, so I know it isn't a good idea to color my own hair. This is one of those lessons I thought I had already learned a few years when I had a bad outcome. However, my friend Jeanine had some snappy looking highlights from a box and I thought, that would cheap and easy. They came out okay several months ago so I did a repeat performance - on the morning my family was coming over for Christmas (as in this past one). Bad idea. My mom said, "That seems kind of crazy to do now." What does she know? Apparently a lot. It came out brassy and with more than a tinge of cooper. I think I was a tad hurried and distracted.
This past weekend I went to have a much needed haircut and decided to throw in some highlights to disguise my mistake with the bleach bottle. After some consultation with the hairdresser, I decided to dye it all one color to get rid of all the crazy streaks and start with a fresh slate. Again, bad idea. I swear I looked like Grace as in Will and- it was bright red at the roots and brown at the bottom. I went home, didn't cry which was a huge improvement, and called the hairdresser. I went back a few hours later for a re-do. What did I get besides coarse, damaged feeling hair? Now I am a brunette. Full on. Like, people don't recognize me. Seriously. I've had people tell me it doesn't look bad and I appreciate the attempts but I really despise it. Maybe I'll have the guts to post a photo. Ella told me the next morning, "Your hair looks nice Momma." I think Sandi put her up to this. "Really? Do you like it better brown or blond?" Without missing a beat, "Oh, blonde. Can you color it blue or purple next time?" Apparently even Ella could see there would be a need for a next time.
This is a hard situation to remedy. Do I just go somewhere else and spend $80 to have it fixed. Dare I go back? Or do I just settle into a life free of blond jokes and dark roots?
The story is no where near over since I am still a brunette, but I have made a plan. After a long conversation with the manager at the salon I decided to go the route of no further expenditure and I am going back tomorrow to have it fixed. The reason this plan has some potential is that I am going to a different stylist, one the manager recommended. God, I hope this works. Otherwise, as one friend said, it will all fall out from all the chemicals and I can just start over. I am hoping for the former.
And as Part II, I have a really scrumptious burger recipe to post. (sorry vegetarians)
Moroccan Turkey Burgers
3/4 c. drained canned chickpeas
1/2 c. dried apricots, chopped
1/3 c. minced shallots
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. ground ginger
1/2 tsp. ground cumin
1/2 tsp. ground cinnamon
1/8 tsp. fresh ground pepper
1 1/2 lb. ground turkey
1. Place chickpeas in a food processor; pulse 3 times or until chopped. Combine chickpeas with the other ingredients. Divide into 6 equal 1/2 inch thick patties.
2. Cook burgers on grill or in a pan. Serve on multi-grain buns, on flatbread, or Naan (that was really yummy).
3. These are really good served with Tzatziki sauce- combine 3/4 c. plain yogurt (or sour cream) 2 TBSP grated, peeled, seeded cucumber, 1 1/2 tsp. minced red onion, 1/8 tsp salt, 1/8 tsp pepper.
I love to cook new things so I think I will post some recipes from time to time. Okay, face it, I'm trying to get people to check the blog and listen to my stories!
This past weekend I went to have a much needed haircut and decided to throw in some highlights to disguise my mistake with the bleach bottle. After some consultation with the hairdresser, I decided to dye it all one color to get rid of all the crazy streaks and start with a fresh slate. Again, bad idea. I swear I looked like Grace as in Will and- it was bright red at the roots and brown at the bottom. I went home, didn't cry which was a huge improvement, and called the hairdresser. I went back a few hours later for a re-do. What did I get besides coarse, damaged feeling hair? Now I am a brunette. Full on. Like, people don't recognize me. Seriously. I've had people tell me it doesn't look bad and I appreciate the attempts but I really despise it. Maybe I'll have the guts to post a photo. Ella told me the next morning, "Your hair looks nice Momma." I think Sandi put her up to this. "Really? Do you like it better brown or blond?" Without missing a beat, "Oh, blonde. Can you color it blue or purple next time?" Apparently even Ella could see there would be a need for a next time.
This is a hard situation to remedy. Do I just go somewhere else and spend $80 to have it fixed. Dare I go back? Or do I just settle into a life free of blond jokes and dark roots?
The story is no where near over since I am still a brunette, but I have made a plan. After a long conversation with the manager at the salon I decided to go the route of no further expenditure and I am going back tomorrow to have it fixed. The reason this plan has some potential is that I am going to a different stylist, one the manager recommended. God, I hope this works. Otherwise, as one friend said, it will all fall out from all the chemicals and I can just start over. I am hoping for the former.
And as Part II, I have a really scrumptious burger recipe to post. (sorry vegetarians)
Moroccan Turkey Burgers
3/4 c. drained canned chickpeas
1/2 c. dried apricots, chopped
1/3 c. minced shallots
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. ground ginger
1/2 tsp. ground cumin
1/2 tsp. ground cinnamon
1/8 tsp. fresh ground pepper
1 1/2 lb. ground turkey
1. Place chickpeas in a food processor; pulse 3 times or until chopped. Combine chickpeas with the other ingredients. Divide into 6 equal 1/2 inch thick patties.
2. Cook burgers on grill or in a pan. Serve on multi-grain buns, on flatbread, or Naan (that was really yummy).
3. These are really good served with Tzatziki sauce- combine 3/4 c. plain yogurt (or sour cream) 2 TBSP grated, peeled, seeded cucumber, 1 1/2 tsp. minced red onion, 1/8 tsp salt, 1/8 tsp pepper.
I love to cook new things so I think I will post some recipes from time to time. Okay, face it, I'm trying to get people to check the blog and listen to my stories!
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