the runaround

I think there might be something a teensy bit off about my brain.



Such as, I went from thinking an 18 mile run, broken up as three distinct short runs wasn't that long to being unable to stop replaying just how long my 20 mile run was this weekend. Such as, when I see someone running on the side of the road I often think, god that looks like a lot of work, and I get tired at the thought. Such as, when our friend Ange (who lives 40 minutes away) told me that she lives almost exactly 26 miles from us, I wanted to throw up a little. Then I said, "Who in their right mind would want to run that far?"


I have purely inspired visions of elation and mountain-summiting pride as I cross the finish line. These are punctuated with images of struggle, jogging slower than a walk, tears, maybe even some light bloodshed and impending failure. I'll admit it. I don't actually worry about failing. I am way too determined and blindly stubborn to allow it. I'm more worried about crawling, or worse, walking across the finish line. I heard a story of a runner who collapsed in the VT marathon like 50 feet from the finish line.







I feel badly for him, I do. But all I can think is, please not me.







Did I mention it was raining, with prediction of high, wild wind when I ran Saturday? And that I was wet the whole time? Did I also mention that I didn't hit my running stride until about mile 9?





I'm actually getting really excited about the marathon. Or maybe it is just the trip to Burlington with Sandi and a bunch of friends that excites me. Or Magic Hat brewery. Or Lake Champlain chocolate milkshakes after the run.





But it's a good thing that there is a 3 week taper because the last couple of nights I have laid in bed replaying just how damn hard it was to run 20 miles. Not the whole time but there were probably 2 dark miles (separated by 90+ minutes) where I just thought, why does 20 miles have to be so far? Why are we running all over Bangor instead of heading back in the direction of Jen's house?





Some highlights: Jen and Andrea's families (they are neighbors) met us at the end of their road with the picnic of food Jen had packed for us and signs that said "GO MOM!" (This was the completion of our 11 mile loop and the start of our 9 mile loop.) Emilie and Christine met us on
the side of the road at about mile 14 with gatorade, bars, cowbells, and the love, devotion and pride of the fellow 20 miler. Oh, and we ran it in just under 3 1/2 hours which meant that, despite the snail-like feel of my pace at one point, we were actually running pretty fast.


Mile 14.

They were also waiting for us an hour later in Jen's driveway with hot coffee, words of encouragement and praise and a much needed reminder for me that the marathon would be easier than what I had just done. The crowds! The adrenaline!

I believe them. I do. And I'm glad that the three week taper that begins today (!) means that I will have some distance between that run, that utter fatigue in my legs that did NOT want to go another 6.2 miles, and race day.

20 miles is supposed to be hard, right??