Technologically oh, so insufficient

This happens to me once about every 2-3 years. And when it does, I hold back tears, pray a little, try to imagine what it would be like to feel Valium coursing comfortingly through my veins and I dial the toll free crisis- I mean clinical support-line.

My insulin pump is down.

For me, people, this is like cutting off my arm and watching it lie disobediently on the floor all the while being told it will be sewn back on tomorrow and it will all be fine but not being able to fully comprehend just how far away tomorrow is or if the person saying this is telling you a lie to prevent a total freak-out.

So, the buttons malfunctioned this evening and the pump can do nothing now. It is completely dead- as in no more insulin delivery- as in get out the syringes and the insulin bottle and wake up every 2-3 hours in the night to give myself the insulin the pump SHOULD be giving me. I might as well just rub sticks together to get the fire going and go shoot some supper in the back woods. I know, you think I'm overreacting but this is a BIG FREAKING DEAL for me.

The good news is that a shiny new, button-working replacement will be here by 10:30 a.m. Good work Medtronic Diabetes. You get an A+ in customer service.

And for now, this very technologically dependent diabetic is flying solo, no indiglo pancreas, no continuous infusion of insulin, no blood sugar reading from my sensor every 5 minutes, no bolus wizard. Alas, I feel naked and vulnerable but I will be up and running as the advanced, PhD candidate diabetic I strive to be before noon tomorrow...