Two funny things happened to me.
First, I was in the wine aisle at the grocery store, and I thought, "I should drink more."
No, that isn't the funny part.
To say life has been stressful for me lately would be like saying it was just sort of okay that we just inaugurated a black president. My brain works overtime most days and I am usually running on empty- the kind of empty where the low fuel light has been on a while and your really pushing your luck. So I thought a little unwinding at the end of the day would be reasonable idea to give myself a break. I bought a bottle of Riesling.
Now, I am not saying that I don't have my addictive/compulsive tenants to my personality. I could easily abuse any cake, peanut butter cup, ice cream or chocolate, good or poor quality. God help me if it is a peanut butter cup ice cream sundae with chocolate sauce served over warm chocolate cake. Okay, you get the point. But, bysome stroke of miracle given the alcoholic genes I carry, I just am not drawn that way.
So the next day, I realized I had forgotten to drink the Riesling. And I thought, "Dammit! I forgot to have a drink!" Luckily, my friends Meredith and Jason brought the alcohol part of a cooperative dinner part last night and she made me the yummiest blackberry pomegranate martini (okay, in truth it was more than one.) Real friends won't let you forget a promise you make to yourself to consume more alcohol.
Secondly- okay really 1A- I seem to have a penchant for running in the snow. I've been running most days and every time I lace up, the powder falls. Except yesterday it was ice slivers shooting into my eyes like glass. The rest of the day? Sunny and warm... I ran during the only period of precipitation.
And the second thing... I went out for a run today just to blow off some steam. I didn't feel like running, was just going for survival of the fittest. And a crazy thing happened. My frickin heart and legs just went out and did it. My mind was not in the game- I even thought about just walking- but there I was running for dear life, thinking about stopping, and my body saying, "Um, you know we can actually handle this..." Whose body is this anyway?
Sunday, March 1, 2009
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3 comments:
you go girl!!! cheers!
Hey Suz,
I acknowledge and honor your experience.
I have, I believe, seen the heart and "sun", if you will, of Suzanne "Hara" Carver. I want you to know that I observe it, in my finite human vocabulary, as jubilant, immensely strong, exciteable and excited, lyrical and melodic, and cooperative.
I know the clouds of fear, doubt, exhaustion, what-have-you, and etc... are what you feel.
I see through them and pray not for their parting, but for their ruination, when you are ready. Souls take time to move and mend.
I love you. No matter what, where, or when.
Remember. xx, Trish
I think that voice telling you to drink more was Matt. Ha Ha.
By the way, not to foster your addictions, but I brought you back a REALLY yummy chocolate chip supreme from Disney that I was told was made by Minnie mouse herself.
Love you :)
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