Here Come the Pics!

In a thousand words, you cannot convey what you can capture in a picture.

Maya's first night. She didn't sleep for about 5 hours after she was born. I think this must have been what our faces looked like, too. I got a cold sore after giving up that night's rest (Ella: "Momma, what is that on your nose?" Me: "It's a cold sore." Ella: scrunching up her face, "Take it off." I wish.)

Coming home.

Ella says, "I don't want to call her Pete. I want to call her Maya."

Peaking with one eye

Giving kisses (and hopefully not her recently acquired second cold of the month.)

Here we are - 6 days in. It is wonderful to be home after a truly spoiled trip to Beals Island. We ate turkey dinners, garden grown veggies and, yes, hold the jealousy- lobster. We took home as much food as we could carry (Patti teases saying she'll know when we've eaten it all because we'll come back. All the while, she is packing the food and saying, "What else will you take?"). We brought home enough veggies for me to make Sandi a yummy chicken pot pie (I don't know why this is the nursing mom's special but I ate it for weeks after Ella was born.), we had lobster salad (seriously, she sent the lobster meat all picked out), pasta with crabmeat sauce - all of which means LESS COOKING FOR ME! Thank you to my mother-in-love for all that and all the Beals family for making our trip so welcoming and special (especially to Baby Brevan who was last seen looking longingly at our van as we pulled away, saying "ga-ga" (his name for Ella) with such a sweet sadness it makes your heart break.)

Yesterday, my mom and Kathryn came to help us with our somewhat chaotic transition home. They have both been amazing and hats off to my mom who took care of Ella for two nights while we were in the hospital. Thanks Mom! Today, we had visits from Mindy, Charissa and Emerson as well as Emilie, Sam and the kids. It felt like the completion of a circle to have our closest friends welcome us home. Mindy and Charissa brought us a dappling Willow tree and Mindy helped plant it in the yard with Maya's placenta (sorry if it grosses you out but it's really cool- it is incredibly nutrient rich). This led to one of those things you hear yourself saying that when you stop and pause, you think, huh? I was running outside to bring the placenta to Mindy and I yelled in the kitchen to Sandi, "Will you stir the cabbage and hand me the placenta?" Our family friend, Diane, came and helped out this morning, lending a much needed second set of hands to me while Sandi slept. People have sent flowers, brought gifts for Maya and Ella, and friends are bringing food. We cannot thank you enough. Ella has thrived in all these visits.

The other day when we were getting ready to leave. Sandi had gotten Maya fed and settled into her car seat, all buckled up and ready for lift-off when she remembered that she hadn't changed her diaper. She said as much, and Ella went running over, saying, "Don't worry! I'll check it!" and then she rummaged through Maya's blankets in an attempt to check.

Today when Sandi was nursing, Ella looked down at her very formal, sleeveless, pink, tu-tu-like, incredibly appropriate for November, Princess dress and said, very seriously, "I'm all out of milk." Then, when I put her to bed tonight, she asked me if I was going to keep an eye on the baby while she slept. Apparently, she wants to make sure Maya is covered while she is off-duty.

We were snuggled up as I tucked her into bed and she told me: "I love the baby, you love me and Mommy loves you." I told her Mommy loved her too and that I loved Mommy and the baby loved us all. It struck me that a family truly has so little to do with your blood. Your bonds are made by the love and devotion you share, the way your hearts wind around each other like branches of a willow, entwined, bonded and certain. I breathed in the smell of Ella- of Vicks Vapor Rub, baby shampoo and innocence and I thought about how Maya did not come from me but I helped create her and she knows me- I can tell in the way she settles in my arms, the relax of her energy when our eyes meet, the promise of all the hugs and cuddles and moments to come. What could mean family more surely than that?

And in that beautiful moment, when my heart was expanding and the universe opened up and allowed me to understand, I told Ella that I loved her. She responded with a fart. (At least she said, "Excuse me.")